Bumpdate #2: Gratitude at 28 weeks

Birth, the Miracle that Keeps on Giving
My sister Rebecca just gave birth a little over a week ago and my sister Elizabeth announced recently that she'll be giving birth ~13 weeks after me! Several friends of mine are also pregnant, some for the first time and some after years of trying. Something about pregnancy seems to prepare us for the sacrifices ahead.

It's usually easier to find words for the difficulties and disappointments than it is to give voice to the transcendental goodness that comes from having a child in your life. No language I have studied or heard of seems to have found the words yet to describe the various emotional cocktails I've been drinking lately. Whether it's my eight year old happily volunteering to sing in church with me or begging to audition for the musical after school, Baby Peanut's active personality and consistent movements, the compassion of the midwives at Swedish, or the awe and delight in my husband's voice as he explains how impressive and distracting the baby's movements were rehearsal... there is so much goodness and grace to be had! I cannot help but be grateful that I was able to get on this roller coaster ride once again.

28 Blessings in 28 weeks
Since this is the month where everyone seems to express the most gratitude and we've entered the third trimester, I thought I would jump on the bandwagon and make a list from these last two trimesters. Thanks to Victoria for helping me find words for some of these!

1. That we could afford IVF
2. That we could do our frozen embryo transfer despite our cross-country move
3. That Greg's new employer covered moving costs like professional movers & airplane tickets
4. My mother in-law and countless CT friends who helped with that busy month of May
5. That my body accepted this pregnancy
6. Quickly finding compassionate and thorough medical assistance here in WA
7. Getting an earlier ultrasound to confirm the health and safety of me and the baby
8. Neighbors and friends but also strangers who were genuinely joyful at our news even when I was still struggling to believe it
9. New & dear friends who could help me get to the ER for treatments when needed (9.5 weeks)
10. Various artists on Youtube sharing their relaxing music to help calm my morning-sick nerves
11. Hypnobirthing breathing exercises & guided meditations to help calm my morning-sick nerves and rid myself of worries
12. A responsible and resourceful 8 year old daughter who often takes care of herself and me
13. Uplifting and edifying birth stories on A Heavenly Welcome and other websites
14. A rekindled love of scripture study as I ponder what God has to say and seek after promised blessings in pregnancy and parenthood
15. Having a bath tub and powerful hot water heater
16. Biocleanse (hypoallergenic magnesium & fiber supplement) from Plexus
17. Being able to teach voice and sing well Handel's Messiah amid the constant changes of my instrument
18. Priceless one-on-one yoga & pilates instruction throughout the rest of this pregnancy: thanks Gretchen Wiese!
19. Despite it being cold and flu season our entire household has been healthy and protected!
20. Weekly temple visits during the second trimester (and hopefully the third)
21. Lactose-free milk: easily consuming a gallon and a half each week I have been dubbed a "milk bibber"
22. Positive scripture-based pregnancy affirmations & guided meditations from A Heavenly Welcome
23. Being able to get the Tdap vaccine while pregnant so that my unborn baby can absorb my antibodies and be blessed with partial immunity to some fatal illness
24. A wood-burning fireplace for a beautiful source of warmth in our home
25. A flexible schedule for when my body decides to be less than flexible
26. Online classes like BYU Independent Study so I can renew my teaching certification from the comfort of my own home & at my own pace
27. Having enough money from Greg's new job & my voice studio to have our needs and wants provided
28. A supportive husband (whether it's leaving the car at home for me to use, doing the dishes and laundry, or being the patient parent and partner he is)

Bumpdate: Spiritual and Physical Lessons through Pregnancy

As an organized, creative, and slightly impulsive person I love to find and nurture beauty and truth so I can share it with others. I recently learned that the archaic meaning of the word prove is "to learn from ones own experience." I hope that some of the experiences I share resonate with you on your life journey, but more so I pray that you'll be inspired to seek out your own learning opportunities.

Living in God's Rest through Pregnancy, Birth, & Motherhood

I recently watched a Youtube video from A Heavenly Welcome and was struck by how versatile and applicable this lesson was. What does it mean to you to live in God's rest? How does that affect your day to day actions as a spouse, a parent, a neighbor, and even just as an individual?

There are two ways that I have experienced God's rest and His presence in my life recently: 1) discovering the symbiotic relationship of faith and hope and 2) God is enough and He wants to share His abundance.

Relearning faith and hope

Faith and hope in God look different at different times in my life and even feel different for people who seem to be going through similar circumstances. Because it was difficult to get pregnant again, I had to relearn and rebuild my relationship with God. I had grown up having young faith in Him and His will, which I knew would always prevail. But I didn't understand hope.


Hope means that I can feel blessed with peace when I don't understand or I feel unheard and misunderstood. It means that even when God says, "No," or "Not yet," to a good wish or righteous desire, I can choose to have joyous hope in His goodness. Many times God doesn't immediately deliver us and yet at the same time, He does. God could have helped us conceive much sooner than the seven years it took, but I've learned not to begrudge Him those growing pains that I needed. During the drawn out process of conception and confirming that my body wasn't going to miscarry, we had many angels help us in IL, CT, and WA. So many people were praying for us!

One of the last testing days 
at Yale's infertility clinic

Kyle S. McKay testified that:

God also gives immediate hope for eventual deliverance.6 No matter what, no matter where, in Christ and through Christ there is always hope smiling brightly before us.7 Immediately before us.

Moreover, He has promised, “My kindness shall not depart from thee.”8

My Shepherd will supply my need

This pregnancy I have been praying to understand and receive God's love so that I can be more compassionate. It is a necessary resource I find myself constantly running out of. Do you ever feel yourself frustrated running out of time, patience, or even money? God wishes to share His abundant goodness with each of us as His children: HE IS ENOUGH. So what does that mean for your fears and frustrations?

One way God has been enough for me lately is by sharing His love. Throughout my life but especially this pregnancy, I have yearned "to taste and savor His delicious love." (Song of Solomon 2:3-4) In answer to these prayers He has been teaching me about His joy.

When was the last time you witnessed joy? So many times in my first trimester I was grateful for the joyful support for friends and even strangers: the staff workers at the Navitat ropes course in TN when they found out why only Greg and Victoria were participating; the cashier at Michael's in WA when we purchased supplies to embroider Victoria's "big sister at last" T shirt; and my aunts who supported us in grad school during the initial infertility diagnosis and rejoiced with us in our pregnancy announcement this summer. Their happiness for me allowed me to choose my own happiness over the creeping doubts and worries that so often accompany a pregnancy.

My favorite scripture regarding our joy in the Lord is Alma 26:16.

Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.

Ask and Ye shall Receive

John 15:7, 11 reads: If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ...I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

See also John 16:33. While declaring my faith in the Lord's promises, I have been careful to ask in prayer without a sense of commanding God. I've sought out many promised blessings and received many more as I laid my cares at the feet of Christ. Matt 11:28-30.

I had very few fears of childbirth from my previous experiences but as I mentioned earlier, I had sort of lost faith in my ability to work with God because of how long it took us to conceive. So I learned to play this great game called "Worry with God." Anytime I found myself worrying about a scenario I learned to lengthen my "what if..." question: What if the worse case scenario happens and God shows up in a miraculous way? This has reinforced the lesson that God is enough; He is not limited by my circumstances and will provide for my needs and wants.

I testify that God's grace is enough. It is enough to support me through the ups and downs of infertility, pregnancy, cross-country moves, and so much more. I love that as I prepare for the birth physically and spiritually, and as I show my gratitude and faith through obedience, I build hope and trust in Him.

It's Never Too Early to Celebrate Christmas: Our Pregnancy Announcement

I've got a few confessions to make:

1. I've started listening to Christ-centered Christmas music every other day now. I suspect it will soon become a daily occurrence, and I'm not sorry for it.

2. For those who haven't heard the good news yet, I am about half way through my second pregnancy! Through the grace of God and a round of IVF we were able to conceive again. We'll find out the gender Christmas morning.

Christmas is Worth the Wait

Two years ago the following note was left in my otherwise empty stocking. I found it when packing stockings for our family's trip to Uncle Kent and Aunt Heather's for Christmas morning in Indy.

Dear Danielle,

Your stocking is empty because I am working on a very special present for you at the request of your daughter, Victoria. She would really like a baby sister. That's not the kind of gift we make at the North Pole but I have passed this special request along to the proper authorities. I look forward to the possibility of delivering the good news myself next year.

Wait and See,
Love, Santa

P.S. Please be patient and a little less bossy with Victoria.

Victoria's stocking had several treats and toys but also this note:

Dear Victoria,

I received your last minute Christmas wish list this afternoon. As I told your mother, that's not the kind of gift we make at the North Pole; but I have passed this special request along to the proper authorities. The elves also reminded me that you'd like a bunny or a doll. We didn't get those requests to the workshop in time this year, but perhaps my friends the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy will be able to help.

Remember, it's easiest for me to do my job when you can't see me. But just like God, you don't have to see to believe!

Love, Santa

P.S. Remember to stay off the naughty list by talking in a kind tone of voice no matter what!

On the back she wrote in gel pen, "Mom and Dad don't be mane [mean]".

April 2019 brought a round of IVF that yielded 10 fertilized eggs and ultimately 6 embryos for freezing! That's better than any Easter Bunny gift so we give credit to God.

2 days before moving to the west coast (end of May), we did a frozen embryo transfer that successfully implanted. So we're due with Baby #2 in February 2020!

We'll find out whether Peanut is a boy or a girl when we open our present Christmas morning. 

Feel free to post your guesses here.