Sukkot: A Mormon Christmas Advent

Why We Celebrate Miracles with 2 Holidays
Many state that unless you're a practicing Jew you should not observe Hanukkah because the whole holiday was founded to strengthen Jewish culture and religious dedication and to purify oneself from worldly influence. Thus being a non-Jew and observing this holiday undermines it very purposes.

So what is my Christian family with no biological ties to Judaism doing celebrating Hanukkah, and as an advent to Christ's birth no less?! Well, I strive to observe this historic holiday with reverence for my God and respect for the people who brought it into existence. We celebrate the legendary history of this Feast of Dedication because of its many spiritual lessons. Saying we're celebrating Sukkot (see Leviticus 23:33-44) the Messianic Jewish way is probably the most accurate explanation. Because I believe in celebrating "anything virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy" and I know many of you do as well, I have decide to continue this tradition another year and share with you my testimony as well as some logistics.

Hanukkah's History: The legends are nicer than the facts
While you may not have heard of Sukkot perhaps you have heard of the miracle of the oil burning for 8 days and nights. This special oil took time to be prepared enough to be temple-grade but the Maccabees wanted to keep the eternal flame lit and not wait. So they went forward in faith. So the story goes.

But while researching topics for our nightly devotionals I came across a disappointing story: the miracle is made up! Quoting from one website in summation of several:

Jewish Rabbi Daniel Kohn, in answer to the question, “Is the miracle of Chanukah made up?” stated that the whole concept of the miracle of the oil, was indeed untrue. While stating that the actual lighting of the Menorah for the dedication of the Temple was real and based on spiritual significance, the rabbinic writings in the Talmud took the shift from the Maccabeean military victory to that of a claimed miracle of the oil for the Menorah.

The perceived glory of the Maccabean victory became overshadowed due to all they did that caused harm to fellow Jews and their focus became viewed as dangerous and containing seditious ideas that were to be suppressed. The fear of glorifying the military success of the Maccabeans while under Roman rule, formed the basis for the idea of inventing the story of the miracle of the oil to become the focus and with it, masked the truth about the Maccabees and their shameful legacy for many years. By reinventing the stories, the rabbis kept the holiday alive with a shift in focus and thereby inserted more religious significance.

While I am an ardent defender and cultivator of truth, I find that this not-so-accurate legend still teaches me and my family. So we just tell the story for the legend that it is and glean truths from it that bring us closer to God.

Symbols of the Festival
While we have yet to build a sukkah and we do keep a small Christmas tree (two wrong ways to celebrate Sukkot), I find comfort and familiarity as a Mormon celebrating Hanukkah (which by the way has several acceptable spellings.) I love that the Hanukkiah (also known as the menorah) is a symbol of the tree of life. I love the symbolism of the Shamash candle or the servant candle (the one in the middle which is higher up than the others) being is used to light the other candles from right to left.

While playing dreidel is the closest we'll come in our family to any sort of gambling games, I love the message that is spelled out there. Nun, Gimmel, Hay, and Shin stand for "Nes gadol ha'ya shem" which translates to, "A Great miracle happened there." We hang a small banner proclaim thus over our homemade nativity. Tradition has it that the dreidel game was a cover up to fool the Romans since studying the Torah was forbidden. Our family deeply values studying the scriptures both individually and as a family and we are blessed to do so frequently and regularly. All these symbols tie in well to various themes for nightly devotionals.

Below is our proposed study schedule for the year:

Day #1, Sunday, also the 1st presidency devotional broadcast: the light of creation
Day #2, Monday, potluck dinner with the Meiers and Deckers: the light given to Adam (studying the fall and the sybollism of the Tree of Life)
Day #3, Tuesday: the light of the Messiah (specifically studying the resurrection and Christ as the Shamash)
Day #4, Wednesday: the light of the commandments (studying Psalms 119:9-11)
Day #5, Thursday: study the light of the Restoration and Joseph Smith as the Shamash
Day #6, Friday: the light of the Abrahamic covenant (studying temple covenants)
Day #7, Saturday, potluck dinner with the Savages and Shaws: the light of discipleship (Matt. 5:13-16 and this Ensign article)
Day #8, dinner and Family Home Evening with the YSA branch: Just as the Jews of old purified their temple, we must purify our lives to better shine the light of Christ and prepare for his 2nd coming.

While I'm not sure we'll keep up this tradition another year I know that all our family's traditions are carefully selected to bring us and those around us unto Christ. In the spirit of Hanukkah we share our light with the world. What traditions does your family have? How have they come about?

Bedroom Decor & More: An Inspired Room Tour

Have you ever read a book that inspired you to make life changes? While I could answer that question with a resounding yes and then share some scriptures, I am actually here to share a book that has found its way onto my reading list. Celebrate with me the launch of this new book with a promising little exercise.

Close your eyes and imagine your bedroom at home, just as it looks right now. Even if you're in there as you read this go ahead and try closing your eyes. No peeking. (note that you might want to finish reading the paragraph before closing your eyes) What is the general condition of your room? What pictures are on the walls? Are there knick-knacks laying around? How about the closet? Open the door. Can you easily find what you need in there? Or, after opening it, do you have to put your shoulder to the door to push it closed?

What does your room say about the person that occupies it? Does it reveal your interests? Do you see things that show you enjoy sports, music, art, dance, etc.? How about reading material? Are there magazines, school books, novels, and scriptures in your room?

Your room is one place that definitely shows your skills in organizing and cleaning. Does your room need a little help? Open your eyes. Do you agree that someone could learn a lot about your outside interests as well as your inner thoughts? The things and feelings you choose to surround yourself with reflect your personal thoughts and feelings.They will have an effect on what you think about and how you feel.

So what does your room say about you? Write down a list on one half of your paper. Or type it out if you prefer. Now on the other half, write down your best and worst qualities and interests. Are they on the first list you made? What can you do to change your home to better reflect who you are?

Due to this exercise I found on a scrap of paper from church ages ago, I decided to cross off some things from my I've-been-meaning-to-do-that list. Normally I'm all about doing things the right way the first time and doing "first things first", but a few months ago I found a better momentum in the emptiness of my schedule by cleaning out and discovering with my toddler. My favorite is the organized computer desk and bedroom closet; her favorite would probably be the pair of child sized scissors we found.

In preparing the house for LDS General Conference weekend and an extended Sabbath we took care of a lot of clutter around the house. It's still not neat as a pin, but it was enough for my OCD self to relax and focus on what's most important about that special weekend! Oh and in addition to several spiritual goals, I made the goal to make my bed daily. I must say that I'm doing pretty well, though I admit to making the beds and pick up some toys just before taking today's photos.

 
 Since her room should grow with her, we recently moved around some toys and bookshelves in Toria's room to make her a reading nook. It's also where she keeps her dolls and rock collection (behind the doll beds.) Can you spot the outgrown clothes I haven't finished boxing up?

The ball pit is a great toy for kids of a wide age range: totally worth the messes for us. We also have a rotational display of artwork on a clothesline. The flower branches are left from a church function.

Bedtime is a family affair that brings us together every night. What I like best about this room is that even though it's my daughter's room I feel like it represents our entire family. Sometimes messy and disorganized, usually fun yet structured, cleans up nicely... So what is your favorite room in your house and why?

You know what I look forward to most about this new book? It supports my life goal of blooming where your planted and "love the house you have." My creativity, generous friends, and modest budget have allowed me to do a lot towards building my dream home.

2 Nephi: Part Two of What the Book of Mormon Has to Teach About Parenting (and Related Issues)

"My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions..."
                                                                           ~ 2 Nephi 4:20, emphasis added

This phrase really stood out to me this time. In the previous verse we get a flavor of the internal juxtaposition Nephi faces; we get a feeling for how he is experiencing two very different reactions to his trials, sets of emotions that we often think of as not being able to have at the same time. But Nephi shows us otherwise. In verse 19 we read: "And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted."

Here Nephi is feeling "encompassed about" and probably overwhelmed at times by the difficulties he faces on a day to day basis. Note that its not until the fourth verse of his lamenting prayer that he eludes to his murderous family! I don't think that is just because he had a lot of other problems he was facing at the time, though that may be true as well. I think this type of attitude comes from an extremely developed sense of the eternal perspective and caring most about what God thinks.

In verse 19 we read that Nephi is not hopeless. He is obviously feeling discouraged (see verse 17-18), but he does not feel helpless and therefore does not despair. Why? Because he knows in whom he has trusted. It's not just a "Hey, I got this because I trust God." He has a personal relationship with God and that is why he can trust enough to see the Lord's hand even in the midst of his trials. Thus we see that Nephi's faith is truly an anchor to his soul. May it be so for you also.

The word through is interesting to me in verse 20. Through as in a preposition other than over, under, or around? Or through as in Nephi's afflictions were the means by which the Lord led? What do each of these interpretations say about the Lord? And have you seen such applications in your life?

Avoiding Trials
God doesn't guide us throughout our lives in such as way as to avoid trials, though sometimes we do receive that blessing. But as Lehi so eloquently teaches just one chapter previous to this: "There must needs be opposition in all things[!]" I've shared before that a wise man once taught me that it's not hard to notice that we live in a fallen world. I used to feel a bit bitter as I'd catch myself whispering with a sigh at some situations, "Evidence of the Fall..." But I don't have to feel bitter, even in the moments when I'm "encompassed about" by my problems! And neither do you. We can try to adopt the attitude of my toddler (yes, I am suggesting copying my 4 year old's attitude) and look at all challenges as learning opportunities. Some such difficulties truly do come about simply because of the world in which I live, but whether or not your sticky situation is deserved it is still an opportunity to build character by coming closer to God. And personally, some of my trials have felt shorter as I have learned to ask "What am I to learn from this?" instead of "Why me?" or "When will this be over?"

Trials Direct Us Inward and Upward
One of the speakers from Time Out for Women spoke about the 3 looks: Look out, look in, and look up. One doesn't practice these looks in sequential order but rather in a cycle and sometimes even simultaneously. During a hard time in life try looking outward to observe the needs of others and do what you can to help. Then look in a ponder how you're reacting to and what you are learning from this unwanted growing opportunity. Then look upward to God and find ways to draw nearer to Him. Sometimes doing so has led me to be truly grateful for blessings in disguises (that's what I like to call trials.)

Sometimes the Lord leads us to him in less-than-obvious ways. We may be directed through the fertile parts of the wilderness, across a stormy sea, or to spend time with people who don't like us (though with Laman and Lemuel I realize this is an understatement.) As Nephi rattles of a list of ways in which the Lord has blessed him, try to not only figure out which specific events he is describing; try to understand how he feels about these various hard times by recognizing the tone in which he describes these past experiences. Hint: he's probably not just suddenly writing with rose-colored glasses on in the middle of a pity party because he remembered that the world is going to be reading his personal, prophetic journal someday.

• [H]e hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
• He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
• He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
• He hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the nighttime.

He goes on to list a few other significant blessings but this list will suffice to make my point. In the first example, Nephi was miraculously instructed to build a boat for his family to reach the Promised Land. Due to the unfortunate choices of others that trip is an eventful one. But as with each of the other examples, Nephi focuses on the actions of one person: God. Doing so drastically simplifies his summation of recent history. I think Nephi's choice--whether a conscious or subconscious one--to focus on the Lord's actions is something he made a habit of doing. Read 1 Nephi and see if you agree. By getting to know the Lord it is easier to have faith in him. One way to get to know people is to see how what they do in a variety of situations, even and especially the less-than-ideal moments.

Challenge this week: Record how you act and feel in your less-than-ideal moments. Study the scriptures to find ways the Lord and/or His servants have continued their work despite their own less-than-ideal circumstances.

Happy Father's Day!

June 21, 2015

Victoria: As she wrote a message to Greg Dear Dad, I love you. Happy Father's Day. Please play with me *pause* all the time.
Greg: That's beautiful Victoria.
Victoria. Now I'm going to draw a little picture on the other side. After a moment That's your wife.
Greg: My wife is a snow person?
Danielle: quietly Yep.
Victoria: a bit disappointed I don't know know how to draw regular/normal people yet.
Greg: Oh that's okay. Mom's coloring is a lot like a snow person.

Greg: We need to get a fog machine and some colored lights.
Danielle: What?!
Greg: It's the cleanest way I know to practice mixing colors.
Less than a minute later Or we could use food coloring and water.
Victoria: Yea!

The Music of the Gospel: Can You Hear It?

I am certain I am not the only one who at some point in their life has wanted to make someone else do something.  It may be a teacher at school requesting his students to listen, a parent or babysitter teaching the right way to do something--whether or not there always is a "right" way is another series of posts, but yes there often IS a "right" way--I have even noticed this tendency in young children playing together. Because of this seemingly universal challenge and my passion for music, the extended metaphor of this General Conference talk really hit me. It still speaks to me and I know it can and will touch some of you.

          “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood”—or by 

          virtue of being the dad or the mom or the biggest or the loudest—“only by persuasion, by long-

          suffering, by gentleness and meekness, … by love unfeigned; [and] by kindness” 

          (D&C 121:41–42).

          "[These] are the attributes that tune our hearts to the music of 

          the gospel. When they are present, the dance steps will be 

          performed more naturally and joyfully by all of the dancers in 

          the family, without the need for threats or intimidation or 

          compulsion."

For those of you not familiar with the talk, go ahead and open the link. I'll wait...No seriously.

So what did you think? Many of my friends probably heard it before and if you have, did you remember it? Interesting tangent: picture of Navajo medicine man for reference. I love the power in the metaphor that dancing can help heal and that the medicine man could teach the doctor the steps but not necessarily how to hear the music. Dancing is a joyful expression, a beautiful blending of technique and emotion; this carries weight in the metaphor I think.

Lately I have been praying for the Lord to help me learn compassion. I view this as 

a merciful and nurturing sort of love independent of the recipient's worthiness or desires. I have high standards for myself and others am painfully aware of my default setting of coercion when it comes to "teaching" what is right. (My daughter, Victoria, recently picked up the line, "But you have to let me do this myself or I will never learn...") For the past several months, the Lord has blessed me to be very aware of my feelings and motivations, even in the moment. I am still learning to be temperate but I nevertheless hear the music of the gospel more often than not. But much like a musician wishing to take her musicianship to the next level, the Spirit of the Lord must be present for me to make lasting improvements. That's part of the power of Christ's Atonement.

Returning to Elder Wilford W. Andersen's talk, 

          If early efforts at making music seem dissonant and discordant, remember that dissonance 

          cannot be corrected by criticism. Dissonance in the home is like darkness 

          in a room. It does little good to scold the darkness. We must                   displace the darkness by introducing light.

          So if the basses in your family choir are too loud and overbearing, or if the string section in 

          your family orchestra is a little too shrill or a little bit sharp, or if those impetuous piccolos are 

          out of tune or out of control, be patient. If you’re not hearing the music of the gospel in your 

          home, please remember these two words: keep practicing.

May I add my testimony to his that "[w]ith God’s help, the day will come when the music of the gospel will fill your home with unspeakable joy." Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has meant learning the dance steps as well as how to hear the music of Christ's gospel. It is a life-long listening cycle and one that has blessed my life immeasurably. I know that 

          Even when performed well, the music will not solve all of our problems. There will still be 

          crescendos and decrescendos in our lives, staccatos and legatos. Such is the nature of life on 

          planet earth. [I once had a wise professor of religion label these things "evidences of the Fall."]

          But when we add music to the dance steps, the sometimes complicated rhythms of marriage 

          and family life tend to move toward a harmonious balance. Even our most difficult challenges 

          will add rich plaintive tones and moving motifs.

So no matter where you are in life, tune in to the Lord's radio station and start dancing. He will help you find joy in even the awkward beginner's phases, a foretaste of the joy He himself feels as we progress towards our infinite potential as His own spirit sons and daughters. You must learn to join the dance!

In preparation for the Indianapolis Temple dedication

I will be singing this as part of a 20 voice choir in the Celestial Room. I've performed this same hymn once before years ago at the dedication of the Rexburg temple, but I must admit that the words were not as clear as they should be in my mind. As I have studied them this week, the lyrics have come alive again my heart and so I share my testimony with you on this hallowed occasion.

I believe in Christ; He is my King.
With all my heart to Him I'll sing.
I'll raise my voice in praise and joy,
In grand amens my tongue employ.                

God is so awesome that of course I will praise Him. His awesomeness also extends to His listening to and answering my personal prayers!

I believe in Christ; He is God's Son.
On earth to dwell, His soul did come.
He healed the sick the dead He raised.
Good works were His: His name be praised!

The end of this first verse (originally there were 8 written by Brother McKonkie which were combined into 4 longer verses for the sake of hymn writing) reminds me of the beginning of The Living Christ. I love how simply and powerfully these words testify of the condescension of The Only Begotten of the Father. It gets personal starting in the very next verse.

I believe in Christ, my Lord, my God.
My feet He plants on gospel sod.
I'll worship Him [in gratitude for this and all other blessings] with all my might.
He is the source of truth and light.

When life gets hard and I feel discouraged I pray from understanding and love from the source of all truth. In performing the infinite atonement, He descended below all things. And I think of this as I continue singing.

I believe in Christ. He ransoms me.
From Satan's grasp He sets me free.
And I shall live in joy and love
In His eternal courts above.

I have taught my daughter to answer the following questions. What is the Atonement? The Key. The Key to what? The key that unlocks the gate into Heaven. And who turns that key? Jesus Christ. And what do we have to do for him to turn the key for us? Repent. This is the simple but true conversation I strive to live each day as I look forward to the Second Coming sung of in the next verse.

I believe in Christ; He stands supreme!                This means my morality should come from His.
From Him I'll gain my fondest dream.                  Obviously exaltation but also things in this life too...
And while I strive through grief and pain
His voice is heard: Ye shall obtain.                       God always keeps His promises!

I believe in Christ. So, come what may,
With Him I'll stand at that great day                    Reaffirming the promises I have made with God...
When on this earth He comes again
To rule among the sons of men.

This is only a portion of the testimony shared by Brother McConkie at the LDS General Conference in April 1972. Go and read it and record your feelings as you ponder his words. It doesn't have to be Christmas or Easter for us to consider or relationship with God and to live our testimonies of truth. So in the words of another great hymn: "Go and do something today!"

1 Nephi: Part One of a Series on Likening the Scriptures

One of my Relief Society president's in college once shared how every now and then she gets a paperback copy of the Book of Mormon, writes her question inside and starts praying and fasting and marking it up. And every time the scriptures come to life in a new way for her! So, for my personal scripture study I have been studying how we receive strength beyond our own.

I was also inspired a while back by a visiting general authority and his wife. She had many touching things to say and her testimony was beautiful. She mentioned briefly that she had written a book called The Book of Mormon: A Pattern for Parenting. This may explain in part why all throughout First Nephi I was drawn to ways to better live the gospel as a mother and wife. So here are some insights on a fruitful tangent. (I'm sure if I thought hard enough I could make a nerdy math joke, but I won't.)

Chapter 1: Personal Prayer and Journal Keeping
This may be stating the obvious but I'll go out on a limb here and write it anyway: You can't be a good parent without a whole lot of prayer. And I don't mean the desperate in-the-moment child-abuse-preventing kind, though those may be necessary at times. I'm talking about talking with the Lord in gratitude and with an intent to act upon the answers He sends.

In verses 1-2 and 16-17 we learn about another helpful habit of successful parents: journal keeping. Lehi taught his son Nephi (and probably his other children as well) to read and write. Thus Nephi would be able to read the scriptures taken from Laban in addition to writing a scriptural record of his own. But he also abridged his father's record, or a piece of it anyway. If you're not familiar with why this was a wise use of his writing and family history skills, check out this link to the LDS seminary manual regarding the translation of the first section of the Book of Mormon.

Another wonderful blessing of journal keeping is witnessed in verse one. Nephi writes that despite his life being hard, "nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days." I'm not sure if his keeping a record as commanded by God was what allowed him to come the such a knowledge and testimony, but our latter-day prophets have testified again and again of the importance of keeping a personal record.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught:
         But I promise you that if you will keep your journals and 
         records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to 
         your families, to your children, your grandchildren, and 
         others, on through the generations....
       
        From time immemorial the Lord has counseled us to be a 
        record-keeping people.

Nephi may be writing what we know as the first few chapters of the Book of Mormon in hindsight, but one of my fondest prayers in my choice callings of wife and mother is that I and my children will be able to recognize from our lives the many tender mercies which come from faithful obedience to true principles.

Chapter 2: Sanctifying Obedience
So here's another obvious lesson about good parenting: it involves sacrifice. And I'm talking about true sacrifice where we give up something good for something even better. Because let's face it: giving up whatever we want to do what God wants us to makes us better people period. I firmly believe doing so is one of our main purposes of this mortal probation!

What sort of things might we sacrifice as parents? Sleep, our pride and sometimes our dignity, our sanity, personal dreams, postponed travel plans, time alone, financial security... What can we learn from Lehi about sacrifice? Well, let's ponder his examples of sanctifying obedience. 1) He risk his life to deliver his prophet message or burden as Isaiah sometimes calls it. 2) In order to save his life and because he was commanded of the Lord, he abandoned his way of life and relative comfort for a really long camping trip and boat ride with some less than cooperative children. 3) He was grateful for the warnings of God even if they were hard to follow: so grateful in fact that he built an altar of stones and made an offering! 4) Even in the desert he found ways to fulfill his eternal calling as a father and teach his sons of the Lord's ways.

My parents have always been great example to me. I have memories of learning principles of "faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities" from watching, playing with, and working alongside them. My dad was always inviting us to draw gospel parallels and asking us what we learned. While I didn't always have the best attitude about it growing up, I appreciated it even then, and more so now as I am a parent myself.

Learning from the less-than-teachable attitudes of Laman and Lemuel and recalling that just about everyone in this caravan would have murmuring moments before reaching the Promised Land, I believe it's important to always be aware of your attitude and how it is affecting your current situation. Notice I didn't say how your attitude is affected by your current situation. If you're looking for a way to adjust your attitude for the better? Come to know that dealings of Almighty God. (See verse 12 and recall lessons from the previous chapter of 1 Ne. 1:1.)

I think Lehi did this and his example led Nephi to do so as well. Consider the juxtaposition in verses 14 and 15. Lehi is filled with the power of God to the confounding of his two murderous sons and yet he dwells in a tent. While he would've been justifiably angry, I don't think he could have had so profound an impact in rebuking them if his words were just spoken in rage. It says he was filled with the Spirit of God and that he spoke unto them" until their whole frames did shake before him." The Lord can help us as we seek to teach and discipline our children. Of course He will, I mean they're His children too after all! I am certain Lehi sought the Lord's assistance regularly in prayer and that is part of what prompted his then youngest son Nephi to go to the Lord in prayer and receive a testimony that his father was indeed a prophet called of God.

1 Nephi 15:3-6 Dealing with Challenges
Some things are just hard to understand. Unless you inquire of the Lord.

Sometimes we're discouraged by the actions or lack thereof by those around us. Sometimes we're less than hopefully. When we are already discouraged, Satan will come and try to make it worse. But we can still choose our reactions and we must remember that Christ has descended below ALL things. He has born your grief and experienced YOUR sorrows. We can also receive strength from God.

Once we are strengthened we must forge that strength of character by strengthening and edifying others.

I've Got the Music in Me: How I Write Music

I thought it would be nice to preserve for myself and posterity how it is that I come up with parodies. As my toddler daughter and her friends will readily attest, when Mommy is happy she often sings and dances, especially in the kitchen. When I was younger I would choose a topic and then a song that conveyed the mood I wanted. For an upcoming family reunion the music was chosen for me and is a song I know well: "Follow the Prophet". Each married couple among my grandparents' descendants is to come up with a verse about their small piece of the family tree.

I started by jotting down a few key words and phrases of events or titles I should probably include. While humming the first few lines in my head, those phrases were easily embellished to fit into the meter. Cadences were locked into place once I simultaneously figured out what I wanted to say about these keys phrases and which rhyming words would allow me to string them together in a coherent fashion.

As I went along I came up with three possible verses. There were things I liked and disliked about each one. Then it became a game of English analysis. I wanted to be deliberate in how I presented myself and my family. How did I decide what to include? Read on.

I wanted our verse to show how we view ourselves and to highlight the things that are most important to us. Ironically the draft that did this best did not initially mention physics or music. (Physics is what my husband has studied throughout college and grad school; it represents his love for solving problems and learning how things work. Music represents my expressive nature and my desire to find beauty in everything then share it with those around me. I sang before I could talk.) I swapped out the phrase "high school sweethearts" for singer and physicist, since I felt these labels to be more accurate.

Initially I wanted to possibly mention our waiting for child #2. Instead I chose not to mention our secondary infertility at risk of making people uncomfortable. We're not trying to complain or look for sympathy, but it is so often on our minds. Also, since Greg's little brother married my little sister and they just had their first child, the lines about weaving our two family names into one and having a daughter are not as unique as one might think.

Draft #1

Out in Rexburg, Idaho Greg met Danielle:

Romance quickly followed,

A mission as well.

Now he studies physics out in Illinois,

Victoria, their daughter, is their pride and joy.

Draft #2

Once their was a singer who loved a physics nerd,

Through college and a mission in case you hadn't heard.

Weaving Hart and Eaton into a family,  

We have a sweet daughter: Victoria is she.

Going through all the drafts, the one I like best includes only our starting location. The more I think about it, the more limiting of our future it could be to end the verse with our current location. Obviously Illinois is not an ending in our lives, but ending a verse that way doesn't leave the listener following us into a hopeful future.

Here's the final draft:

A singer and a physicist in Rexburg, Idaho:          
Studying together, our love did grow.                                  
College, mission, more school, a daughter joined our clan!
We're a happy family thanks to God's great plan.

I like how the first few lines don't have an obvious beginning date. Our friendship in high school grew and blossomed into a lovely marriage from subtle beginnings. I like too that the second line is not as specific as it could be, implying how together we study anything. (It's true. From calculus to the scriptures to opera, we enjoy it all.) I love ending with our testimony. God's plan for all His children has been the overarching goal in everything we do. Its doctrines enrich our perspective and color even our day to day actions. And there you have it.

Toddler Talk: Spring Has Arrived!

                                         "Can we go play outside? It's such a lovely day for it?"

In spring we learn how to take care of things.
V: Oh no, the fly died? It was probably just looking for some food. I hope we have another one.
M: Wait you want another fly to come into our house. thinking: I thought you didn't like them. You were afraid of it at first.
V: Yeah. Because I like taking care of things.
M: Aw... Yes and you're very good at it. You take care of that gift God has given you and use it well.

V: It's difficult to take care of two kids. (She has been playing Mom a lot lately)
M: Yeah? Why?
V: Because you can't take care of two kids at the same time...It's really sad.

M: To Toria What's your favorite part about having a garden?
V: Watering the plants.
M: Why do you like watering the plants?
V: Because that's quite fun.

In spring we learn how to dress for the changing weather.
V: My tights make my bloomers look weird. See? Strikes a pose to enhance the largeness of her little bottom.
...assorted comments from mom...
V: Yeah, the first time my skirt didn't fit--
M: Wait, you have your skirt on underneath your bloomers?!
V: excited and clearly proud of her ingenuity Yeah!
M: Why?! That is just so weird and wrong and...ugly.
V: And silly. More big bottom poses eliciting giggles and comments from play date companion and a warning from Mom

In spring we learn how to behave indoors as well as outside.
"Mom, Hobbes is only a little bit bad." Comparing and contrasting Calvin's and Hobbes' misbehavior and considering when Hobbes pushing Calvin into the pond to make their fishing trip more exciting.

View our May album here...

The Merry Month of May: A Perfect Prelude to June

Remembering Elder Perry

As I study Elder L. Tom Perry's obituary on the church's website I am struck by several ways in which I am or can be like him and his family.
             Elder L. Tom Perry was a builder all his life.    
             Sometimes that meant building a chapel out of 
             the rubble, and other times it meant building up a 
             soul or a nation in need of his boundless optimism,              enthusiasm, and spiritual power.

             Wherever he went, Elder Perry left things stronger 
             than they were before he came.

I want to be more of an optimist. I'll start by cultivating hope and Christ and refer to problems only as opportunities, just as he did. I want it to be said of me that I make friends wherever I go! I want to be like his mother, to be known for teaching. I also want it to be obvious to those around me that family is of utmost importance to me.

While I've never considered myself very patriotic, I love that L. Tom Perry's sacrifices to God were motivated by the same values that motivate me. While our country may drift away from these values to the point of dishonoring the sacrifices of its veterans, I still feel his testimony resonate within me:  

            I will teach my firm conviction that the foundation of any righteous government is the law

               that has been received from the Lord to guide and direct man’s efforts. Righteous 

               government receives direction from the Lord.

I also appreciate Elder Quentin L. Cook's summary:

              Through his background as a Marine he was very patriotic. and he saw faith, hope, and 
              family as a heritage of his generation of some of the things they were fighting for, some of 
              the things they were trying to protect. That those were some of the basic values that were 
              really most important.

Elder Perry said, “There is a real satisfaction that comes from finishing a task, especially when it is the best work we know how to do.” (See L. Tom Perry, “The Joy of Honest Labor,” Ensign, Nov. 1986, 62, 64.)

Elder Perry never did anything less. He built, he taught, he served, he testified—all to the best of his ability. He was a true builder of the kingdom. Heaven has gained a great man.

Educational Endeavors
This summer we're doing week long unit studies to introduce Victoria to geography. This week we'll discuss key topics each day so that when we start studying countries she'll understand when we study using newer vocabulary. The library had some wonderfully helpful books to get us started. For example, Greg is in charge of showing her a globe (just bought one of the cheap inflatable ones via Amazon prime tonight!) and other types of maps and their uses. He'll also discuss longitude and latitude to give her practice with numbers and a reference point for the different hemispheres. That's all in a day's lesson.

Next week we'll studying the USA and spend one day on each state in which we have a stronghold of family, starting with IL. The rest of the countries will get one day for general facts and world context, one day on environments (notable climate characteristics and terrain) as well as places to see. Culture will be in over the course of several days: one day on clothes and music, one day on church history, one day on food, and one day on traditions holiday and otherwise. I'm sure many of you have valuable experiences to lend to this endeavor so don't be shy. I am thinking that we'll do this weekly schedule:

• Algeria (because we babysit for an Algerian family), 
• France (Victoria and Greg are studying French and Aunt Lisa nannied there), 
• Brazil (because we'll go visit our cousin Ben for the 4th of July and hear all about his mission), 
• Puerto Rico (Victoria's best friend is 1/4 Puerto Rican & her mom can help teach us)
• Germany (for Opa)
• the Philippines (because we already love adobo and for Uncle Spencer)
• FAMILY REUNION in Utah (maybe I learn a little tennis from Sam and Jonathan?)
• Italy (Toria loves their gymnasts and we've got RM aunties to interview)

Victoria will end up with a nice book this summer. I'm sharing what I've created here for others who may find it helpful. All are welcome to view it and share it. Just don't try to sell it or say you made it, okay?

Delightful Daydreams

Our garden is doing well and the maintenance man in charge of landscaping told me about some lovely purple irises that will grow well in my muddy flower bed out back. One of the best parts is that they're free! Cynthia's idea of a seasonal flower garden sounds particularly admirable. Greg surprised me with fresh flowers and a romantic Italian lunch from scratch this afternoon we included herbs we don't normally buy but happen to be growing: sigh of contentment. (See old but relevant photo below.) That man is golden! Back to the garden harvest...We inherited a plot with asparagus and are still sharing a double plot this year with our dear friends, the Savages. 

So far we've enjoyed asparagus, some sort of lemony lettuce, spinach, kale, radishes, and soon green beans carrots, strawberries, raspberries, and garlic. Tomatoes and three kinds of squash will come a bit later in the season.

In addition to dreaming about the various stages of our garden and small yard, Greg and I have been talking more and more about the possibility of an overseas post doc in about 3 years. We still like the idea of going close to my mom's brother in NC to see how southern living treats us. Only time will tell where we'll end up.

Productive Projects
Victoria and I are going to begin a quilt for her soon inspired by Rapunzel and her golden sun. Yellow is one of Victoria's favorite colors. It is fun to have her help with every part of the sewing process. She was so ecstatic to learn how to chain crochet with her own little fingers during stake conference. She was reverent after bedtime for nearly an hour as a result! Sadly, she also enjoys unraveling her work.

Speaking of work, Greg is back in the swing of working for two two separate professors on separate projects with similar methodologies. I myself have been enjoying my scaled back work hours. Babysitting will pick up with the start of summer term and I'm already planning where to tuck the money into our budget.

Lemonade stand: Oh the Difference You Make

After reading about my nephew's "Out of This World" lemonade stand for his school and trying to prepare a family home evening lesson during nap time, I was inspired to revisit this draft of a blog post. Some of my ideas may sound repetitive if you've been following me a while, but I won't apologize. Sometimes it takes a few tries for the lessons God gives me to stick with me enough to change me. And I'm sure I'm not the only one ;-)

"May I point out something obvious? Life rarely goes exactly according to plan for anyone...It is still important to understand and teach the Lord’s pattern and strive for the realization of that pattern the best we can." 1

This lesson has really been brought home to me as of late. I am grateful for supportive friends and family who make such lessons less painful for me to learn. (In case you didn't know, my biggest pet peeve in life is when things don't go according to planned.) Sometimes I think if I can just square my shoulders and think positively I can get through ___. Like a kidney stone, this too shall pass. But as my favorite quote from the movie Letters to Juliet goes, "Life is the messy bits."

About a year ago I was feeling rather frustrated by a recurring problem. I thought was doing everything I could to live my ideals and things just weren't working out. I wanted the Lord's confirmation that I should keep trying, even and especially when what I was doing didn't seem to make a difference. I wanted to be able to better enjoy life's messy bits; I felt inspired to write this poem about a successful attempt of mine to make lemonade out of life's lemons. I don't think I've ever shared it publicly til now.

That sour moment when
Life hands you a lemon.
That tense moment when
You do your best to be nice and just try anyway.

That moment of relief when
A friend pitches in to help.
That satisfying moment when
You realize you've just made
Lemonade.

I leave you with this invitation to choose to turn sour moments sweet. Whether it's choosing not to pass judgement after a brief glimpse at a stranger's worst moment or smiling and making cheerful small talk while you wait in the longest grocery store line of your life, these are some of the small ways that each of us can make a great impact whose far reaching effects may surprise you. "So go and do something today!"

Finding Balance Through Christ's Atonement

Last night I studied Elder L. Whitney Clayton's April 2015 Conference talk, "Choose to Believe", and in it I found reassurance and encouragement as well as solutions to my seemingly unrelated problems. For example, as a parent and babysitter I seek to respect the agency of the young children entrusted to my care; I err on the side of compulsion to do what is right, most especially when it is I who must pay the price for their bad behavior. Due to a recent challenge I find myself reevaluating many things but most especially my parenting methods. I pray I will learn quickly to discipline more like the Lord and not feel conflicted between loving tolerance and a permissive lack of rule enforcement. I am certain that I am not the only one who struggles with this balance and I pray my studies and testimony will encourage more than just myself today. (This conundrum of finding balance between two good ways to follow the Lord which both turn bad when taken too far is beautifully discussed in a book I highly recommend: Extremes: How to Keep Your Virtues From Becoming Vices.)
              "God does not compel us to believe any more than He compels us to keep any commandments,
               despite His perfect desire to bless us. Yet His call to us to believe in Him—to exercise
               that particle of faith and to give place for His words—remains in effect today."

Right and wrong are not negotiable and at some point we will feel the pressing debt to justice of delayed consequences. God's commandments apply equally to everyone. And yet there is the atonement. I'll come back to this thought in a moment.

As I reread passages of this inspired message looking for the quotes I could not mark during my study last night, I was struck by this little sentence: "Sailor could not know at first if what she was doing as she pushed her way through the underbrush would actually work." If you are unfamiliar with the story to which he is referencing, please go read the first part of his talk at least! He continues,"She was lost and injured; it was dark and cold. But she left the crash site and ventured out in hope of rescue, crawling and scraping her way forward until she saw a light in the distance. Once she had seen it, she did her best to move toward it, remembering what she had seen." While most of us will never face such dramatic, traumatic experiences as this little girl, I will still attempt to draw parallels. Think of the last time you felt hopeless and then answer the following questions:

1. Have you ever felt lost and injured, surrounded by darkness and cold? You may have been surrounded by people and yet still been alone in a sense.
2. Have you ever been asked to move on or move forward, to pick yourself up from a hardship and continue on as though you're unhampered by the injuries you've sustained?
3. Have you ever in the midst of trial, discovered glimmers of goodness and glimpses of light, evidences of the love of an ever mindful Father in Heaven? Have you noticed that sometimes such experiences are easily forgotten and swallowed up in our personal anguish if we do not cling to them and seek out the Lord in a desperate plea for more.

Sometimes we may get discouraged by our imperfect attempts to do what is right. To quote a hymn, "the day dawn is breaking, hailing a future of freedom and light."  But sometimes my future doesn't feel very bright. In these moments of painful realization it is easy for me to wonder if what I am doing is actually making a difference. Yet "the Spirit whispers this to me and tells me it is true[:]" just like in the parable of the prodigal son, my stumbling attempts to return home to my Father in Heaven are met with the running footsteps of someone coming to greet me, embrace me, and welcome me home. Because of the eternal sacrifice of my Savior and yours, I can be made whole. I can repent from my mistakes and heal from the mistakes of others. I can find strength to persevere in my enduring to the end. Because I know that my God is waiting to help me cross the finish line. 

Elder Clayton testified that "[s]ometimes progress in spiritual things can seem slow or intermittent. Sometimes we may feel that we have lost ground, that we have made mistakes, or that our best efforts to find the Savior are not working. If you feel this way, please do not give up—ever. Go right on believing in Him and in His gospel and His Church. Align your actions with that belief." I add my witness and that of the Book of Mormon prophet Alma's that "if [we] can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you,even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of [the Savior’s] words.” That is what conversion is. That is how the atonement of Jesus Christ can begin to work in our lives daily, to change us and "to make us new creatures in Christ." 2 Cor. 5:17.

So I will move forward, acknowledging my weakness: "'Twas I, but 'tis not I." I don't have to repeat mistakes, and when I do I don't have to be doomed to continue repeating them and forever be marked as a sinner. I will keep on trying! My character as a daughter of God can be molded into what He wants me to be, through the love and teachings of my family and my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Time for Another Toddler Talk: Sing, Dance, Imagine!

Birthday stats for Mom

• Name and age: Danielle Eaton Hart, 27 years old
• What do you like to do: I am a creator. I am a nurturer of truth and beauty. I maintain a blog, do family history, crochet and sew, make gifts and cards for friends, day dream about interior design projects, and grocery shop.
• What food do you like to eat: My current favorite snack is goat cheese with chopped fresh basil and craisins with maybe a dash of lemon pepper and drizzle of oil, on a slice of  toasted Panera tomato basil bread (not gluten-free.)
• Who are your friends: I have a lot of friends. These days my friends are most easily found in my neighbor and within my church congregation: Suzie as well as the Savages, Packs, Freestones, and Deckers to name a few. 
• Greatest blessing: Aside from my family I'd say financial security.
• Current trials aka blessings in disguise: We have been trying to get pregnant since September 2012.

We sing a lot around here. While we eat...

singing: I'm eating the popsicle. Lemon, lemon, LEMON!

While we build things...

"Don't be afraid. Just say a prayer and God will help you. Don't be afraid. God gave you the power to do almost anything." She also sang about needing to be nice and that we should brush our teeth twice a day.

We also like to dance...

An older example but accurate nonetheless

And imagine...

I'm catching fire. And it doesn't even burn me.
You're catching fire?! With what?
With a stick...spinning and twirling. It (not a typo) was really good with my controlling. Wow, it just flew right on the desk Mom.

We believe in finding truth and beauty and sharing it with others. Victoria likes to bear her testimony at home a lot about the things she is learning, often quoting her parents and the scriptures. Most of the time she keeps those quotes in context as she elaborates upon the doctrines found therein.

Our Schedule

Wake up 7:30 – 8:30 A.M.
Help Mom work out and/or babysit
Lunch around noon
Quiet time followed by more playing and creating
Dinner by 5:45 PM (Toria and I begin to fall apart around 5:00 without food)
Family time, reading and playing games
Bedtime routine starts at 7:00 P.M. (Toria asleep by 9; Mom and Dad by 10.)

Growing Girl—I don't remember the last time Victoria went to the doctor, but that's a good thing at this point. Last time we checked she is still trying to break 30 pounds. She has broken the meter mark for height at least. She wears 2T clothing if it's not too tight or short (she'll tell mommy whether or not something is immodest). She can comfortably wear most of the 3T clothes she has tried on. Her favorite is a hand-me down "ballerina swimsuit" from cousin Emily Hansen. She wears it over other clothes and sometimes by itself but is horrified if you mention using it as a swimsuit. Not all her clothes are pink, but general the pink stuff is her favorite. The only way I can take stuff out of circulation in her closet is if the item is being given away or saved for a future already-loved sibling.

Discipline—Victoria doesn't get in trouble much. We talk about our feelings and try to listen to each other and model good behavior. If Mommy replies with a feeling word that has a corresponding Daniel Tiger song, Victoria will often sing it or a Primary song upon request to help Mommy calm down. We only run into problems when she's like a pixie and too full of one emotion to even think. We've been working on this slowly but surely; role playing and time outs are our most effective ways to discipline. She also knows that she has to earn her TV time. Unfortunately she can be heard to shout about other things she doesn't want to do: "I only have to earn my TV time!" That is more true in her eyes than in her parents'. She is really into discovering her agency and the parameters we have placed upon it. She recently decided to finish potty training because it was finally her idea and not ours to have bowel movements in the toilet only. Praise the Lord! 

Personality—Victoria was blessed by her father shortly after being born "that others will see in [her] a glimpse of Christ." She has always been concerned with the needs of others and how to help them feel better. We've worked to cultivate other spiritual gifts as they come. She loves to clean and sing and create. She has inherited her mother's gift for homemade birthday/thank you/get well cards. 

He Overcometh All...And So Can We!

An incredible woman who overcame much in her life once penned a beautiful poem of which I share an excerpt:

“My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily."

The rest of Corrie ten Boom's poem is remarkable and I invite you to ponder it. While I don't believe that everything is destiny or fate, I do believe that God works with us through our circumstances to become what He would have us be.

Video: Falling Up

In this video introducing a motivational speaker, we learn of her reaction to some unbelievable challenges. They said such a devastating injury would take away her life's work and her reason for living. I think of several dear friends right now who are going through deep trials and I wonder how they are feeling... beyond their physical pain. I wonder if they have regrets because of the challenges they are facing. Do they understandably view their hardships as limiting or even taking away their life's work?

That question is too big for me and so my thoughts turned inward. What is my life's work? What are my reasons for living? I recently did a post about recognizing where we have been, where we are, and where we are going; I borrowed the shoes metaphor from a Time Out For Women speaker whose video I also shared there. You know, they say that you can't judge a person until you have walked two moons in their moccasins. I cannot begin to understand my friends' challenges of health and faith. But I know some who does. And it is after Him that I hope to pattern my life. It is thanks to Him and His infinite sacrifice that I can see clearly where I am and have hope in where I am going. He has given me my reasons for living and I will forever praise Him for it.

You may have heard of the woman who visited a silversmith at work so as to better understand Malachi 3:3 which reads, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." Sometimes, when we are stuck in a hot spot and being refined, it feels like we do not have control over much nor is it likely that we feel refined in our reactions. May I submit that with the Lord's help, we can grow through and because of our challenges.

Consider the oyster and several other mollusks. When an oyster is annoyed--and rightly so--by "an irritant such as a wayward food particle...trapped in the mollusk", the oyster has a beautiful defense. Rather than get sick, it concentrates on healing the irritation if you will, by covering it in layers of the same stuff it uses to build its shell. Over time this internal problem turns into something beautiful because of how the oyster reacted. Pearls are rarely "perfect" and there are a number of factors that affect their development.

This can be a wonderful parable for our own spiritual development. Many of us have inward struggles, often caused by things out of our control. But we can control how we react to them. If we are renewed by the grace of God each day, together we can work at how we respond and thus make something beautiful of ourselves because of the hurt we're experiencing.

Studying this process further on the American Museum of Natural History's website, I learned:
       One of the most distinctive features of a nacreous pearl is the
       way it seems to glow from within.This property, known as
       "luster," gives pearls their unusual beauty. Luster results from
       the reflection of light rays not only off the surface of the pearl,
       but also off the concentric inner layers of nacre.

Nacre ("NAY-ker") is the composite material formed by the aragonite ("ah-RAG-uh-nite") and conchiolin ("KON-kee-uh-lin"). Now here's where I may be stretching the metaphor but feel free to stretch with me. When we become Christlike in all things, including the way we deal with on-going problems, something glorious happens to our character: as we use our ability to choose and are further enabled by the atonement to be true to the nobility inherent in us a children of God, that is when we shine.

And so my dear readers, whatever hurts you may have, I testify that none is too great for the healer of souls. And this healing ought not to be a passive experience. Laying your burdens at His feet and taking up His yoke still sounds like work doesn't it? And yet we are promised by Jesus himself that in so doing "[we] shall find rest unto [our] souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Standing on Holy Ground

Recently I shared on Google plus: You don't have to be a girly girl to love shoes. Heck, you don't even have to be a girl in order to have a favorite pair of footwear! "But what if our 'shoes' represented different roles that we play in life? The shoes may look and fit differently depending on the role you play." So what shoes are YOU wearing and how do you feel about it? Comment below so we'll learn and grow together to appreciate where we're at, where we have been, and where we are going.

Where I've Been

Growing up I didn't always care enough to be wise in my choice of footwear. I made sure to wear weather-appropriate shoes most of the time but I figured they could handle whatever I chose to do in them. I remember being pregnant with Victoria and going on a longer-than-expected walk with my husband to pick up a treat while we waited for the car to be repaired. I broke my favorite flip flops to pieces but still managed to have a decent attitude and keep my complaining to a minimum. They tried their best to do a task they were not prepared for. I'm still learning that lesson; like those shoes, there are times when I need to remember to be wise in my diligence and to not run faster than I have strength. 

Where I'm At

Ever since moving to Illinois I have been pretty faithful about wearing shoes to protect and support my feet, because I have plantar fasciitis. The muscles on the arches of my feet don't entirely behave as they ought to and so sometimes things like walking get quite difficult. So I've gotten pickier about the shoes I wear. Maybe that is in part why the video which inspired this post struck a chord with me tonight. 

I value functionality and beauty as deciding factors in many things, and shoes are no exception. But taking this metaphor to heart, I began to learn things about myself and the roles my Lord God has given me. I'm one of those girls who grew up wanting to be a wife and a mother: in my mind it was and is the ultimate career for me and I didn't need or want anything else. I also try to look outside myself and find those in need whom the Lord would have me help. For these reasons my default pair of shoes have been the comfy tennie runners I'm wearing right now. They aren't so beat up as to be ashamed of...most of the time. Like my house, I try to keep them clean but they're okay if they get a little dirty. And like me, they can do some pretty extraordinary things while appearing to many as humble, ordinary, and to a rare few even pitiful.

Where I Am Going

Tomorrow [now actually today as this post has taken a couple days to write] I get to go to the Holy Temple of God and worship there. I served in many ways--expected and otherwise--and learned of God's ways once again. There were a few moments where I felt and knew that I was being the Lord's hands. I know He has a plan for me as He does for all of His children. I am reminded of the scripture: "Put off thy shoes from off thy feet. For the place whereon thou standest is holy ground." My prayer is that by what I do and what I say, I make holy places, that I may stand in whatever shoes I'm wearing with the utmost assurance that I am doing and being what God wants.

A New Year is Here!

January 2nd
Victoria likes to pretend. Today she was a royal sunflower that was sad sad and dancing, but not dancing because it was sad. She also sat in her throne and pretended to be a queen and especially Rapunzel. She really enjoys this idea of her hair getting longer. I think she and Greg have talked about it. We've been meaning to make a blanket fort too. She made it 2 whole days before having an accident at bedtime (We didn't realize that she hadn't gone to the bathroom after getting in her pajamas like Daddy asked. But she managed to miss the carpet and her bedding completely.)

Greg went in to work today for almost a whole day (over the Christmas break he would only go to campus in the mornings and that was to work on surprises for our anniversary as much as it was to do research on his computer uninterrupted.) This afternoon he picked up the rug doctor from the Winfield office and cleaned Victoria's room, most of the living room, and the upstairs hallway. He'll finish the leftovers tomorrow, even though the machine leaks some.

My goal today was to focus on deliberately coming to the Lord in all things. That meant spending less time doing things of lesser value and not getting irritated at my family or myself. It went okay, but not as well as I hoped or expected. It wasn't the conscious intention throughout the day that it ought to have been. So I'll try again tomorrow.

Tonight Greg and I talked about parenting by example and how we can better respect Victoria's agency by realizing that in almost all she does, she is mimicking us. If we vocalize our thought patterns we and she will be more conscious of them and together we can ask questions and make
better choices. Also, if we help establish her good character and a healthy relationship between us now, we'll be reaping dividends for years to come. Who says the toddler/preteens/adolescent years have to be awful and trying? Yes, she'll be determining who she is and self-discovery mode is not always fun or tidy but as a good movie line says: "Life is the messy bits." (Letters to Juliet) *My mantra through the highs and lows of this month.

My dad shared and great quote today that will be a beautiful end to today and beginning for tomorrow: “To reach a goal you have never before attained, you must do things you have never before done” (Richard G. Scott).

January 3rd
Today we finished cleaning our house. It took a while but we got it put together again for the Sabbath but we once again have a house of order as the scriptures counsel. I should study the rest of that scripture to see what we need to work on next! Greg even hung Victoria's blackboard in her room.

Victoria's dress is coming along nicely; it's frustrating work in that I need to concentrate and be uninterrupted but it is so gratifying to be creating in new ways. I just love creating beautiful things!

January 7th
Victoria and I are making slow but painful progress toward are goal of getting her to self-regulate (i.e. calm herself down.) I'm doing better at regulating my time online. I hope I keep this trend all month long.

*I feel like by the end of the month I wasn't much better in my goals than when I first began them. I know I made great progress though initially.

January 16th
I am grateful for my regular work out schedule and babysitting jobs but I am also grateful for the presence of the church in my life and other supports given to me by God that I often take for granted.
Dear reader, what are you grateful for?

January 20th through 22nd
Tuesday was a mad, bad day for us all. Victoria was volatile; Toria and the other girls I tend took turns being upset and upsetting each other. I was a mess by the end of the day. There are times when I really worry about losing my temper. Readers: what do you do to keep from losing it?

The next few days were much better and Greg really tried to buoy me up. Babysitting for others has always been a wonderful learning opportunity for me but this week I felt the growing pains. By the end of the week things were much better and I have hope that the little girls I tend will grow to love me as I serve them and their families.

January 29th
I had a lovely visit with Tess Shaw and her less-than-a-month old daughter Julia. Audrey and Toria played well together. We got to do a quick grocery run for forgotten things on the way there and made it back barely in time to babysit. The girls are playing upstairs while I grind food storage grain to make bread from scratch for my family. I'm doing family history while I wait. #feelingrighteous