~ 2 Nephi 4:20, emphasis added
This phrase really stood out to me this time. In the previous verse we get a flavor of the internal juxtaposition Nephi faces; we get a feeling for how he is experiencing two very different reactions to his trials, sets of emotions that we often think of as not being able to have at the same time. But Nephi shows us otherwise. In verse 19 we read: "And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted."
Here Nephi is feeling "encompassed about" and probably overwhelmed at times by the difficulties he faces on a day to day basis. Note that its not until the fourth verse of his lamenting prayer that he eludes to his murderous family! I don't think that is just because he had a lot of other problems he was facing at the time, though that may be true as well. I think this type of attitude comes from an extremely developed sense of the eternal perspective and caring most about what God thinks.
In verse 19 we read that Nephi is not hopeless. He is obviously feeling discouraged (see verse 17-18), but he does not feel helpless and therefore does not despair. Why? Because he knows in whom he has trusted. It's not just a "Hey, I got this because I trust God." He has a personal relationship with God and that is why he can trust enough to see the Lord's hand even in the midst of his trials. Thus we see that Nephi's faith is truly an anchor to his soul. May it be so for you also.
The word through is interesting to me in verse 20. Through as in a preposition other than over, under, or around? Or through as in Nephi's afflictions were the means by which the Lord led? What do each of these interpretations say about the Lord? And have you seen such applications in your life?
Avoiding Trials
God doesn't guide us throughout our lives in such as way as to avoid trials, though sometimes we do receive that blessing. But as Lehi so eloquently teaches just one chapter previous to this: "There must needs be opposition in all things[!]" I've shared before that a wise man once taught me that it's not hard to notice that we live in a fallen world. I used to feel a bit bitter as I'd catch myself whispering with a sigh at some situations, "Evidence of the Fall..." But I don't have to feel bitter, even in the moments when I'm "encompassed about" by my problems! And neither do you. We can try to adopt the attitude of my toddler (yes, I am suggesting copying my 4 year old's attitude) and look at all challenges as learning opportunities. Some such difficulties truly do come about simply because of the world in which I live, but whether or not your sticky situation is deserved it is still an opportunity to build character by coming closer to God. And personally, some of my trials have felt shorter as I have learned to ask "What am I to learn from this?" instead of "Why me?" or "When will this be over?"
Trials Direct Us Inward and Upward
One of the speakers from Time Out for Women spoke about the 3 looks: Look out, look in, and look up. One doesn't practice these looks in sequential order but rather in a cycle and sometimes even simultaneously. During a hard time in life try looking outward to observe the needs of others and do what you can to help. Then look in a ponder how you're reacting to and what you are learning from this unwanted growing opportunity. Then look upward to God and find ways to draw nearer to Him. Sometimes doing so has led me to be truly grateful for blessings in disguises (that's what I like to call trials.)
Sometimes the Lord leads us to him in less-than-obvious ways. We may be directed through the fertile parts of the wilderness, across a stormy sea, or to spend time with people who don't like us (though with Laman and Lemuel I realize this is an understatement.) As Nephi rattles of a list of ways in which the Lord has blessed him, try to not only figure out which specific events he is describing; try to understand how he feels about these various hard times by recognizing the tone in which he describes these past experiences. Hint: he's probably not just suddenly writing with rose-colored glasses on in the middle of a pity party because he remembered that the world is going to be reading his personal, prophetic journal someday.
- [H]e hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
- He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
- He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
- He hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the nighttime.
He goes on to list a few other significant blessings but this list will suffice to make my point. In the first example, Nephi was miraculously instructed to build a boat for his family to reach the Promised Land. Due to the unfortunate choices of others that trip is an eventful one. But as with each of the other examples, Nephi focuses on the actions of one person: God. Doing so drastically simplifies his summation of recent history. I think Nephi's choice--whether a conscious or subconscious one--to focus on the Lord's actions is something he made a habit of doing. Read 1 Nephi and see if you agree. By getting to know the Lord it is easier to have faith in him. One way to get to know people is to see how what they do in a variety of situations, even and especially the less-than-ideal moments.
Challenge this week: Record how you act and feel in your less-than-ideal moments. Study the scriptures to find ways the Lord and/or His servants have continued their work despite their own less-than-ideal circumstances.
