Recognizing and Celebrating Miracles Past and Present

This is a holiday post. This is a gratitude post. This a spiritual, thoughtful post. It also serves as a reflection of this past year and look forward to the coming year.

Several of my readers may already be aware of our family's new year's resolutions for 2014 with the slogan being "MORE in two thousand FOURteen!" We've done pretty well on all of our goals, though some are still being realized. This most obviously includes our desire to have more children. As I look back over journal entries and countless spiritual experiences a few thoughts come forth that I feel are worth sharing as some of you surely have trials to face, hope to kindle, and faith-filled lives to live.

Let me begin by sharing an insight or two from Time Out For Women. From "How to Turn Futile Hopes into Fertile Hopes: An Exercise in Asking and Answering Questions" (just my working title for and a direct quote from one speaker's talk and the notes she encouraged us to take):

"Think of something in your past, something that part of you wishes you could undo...Now ask yourself this question: what is something that you learned from that experience that you will never forget and that makes you a better person?" There are countless answers that lead us to consider in gratitude the purpose of this life. Some of our limitations and perceived failures make us who we are. Now as you're pondering that, here's a somewhat related question for you to fill in the blank: Sometimes I think I could be so much more effective and fulfilling my mission from God if it weren't for ___? Whatever you chose to complete the sentence, it was probably something out of your control, right? Think of the Romans who controlled Israel at the time of Christ. Much like the ancient Jews who struggled to recognized the Messiah in their midst because they sought deliverance from the Romans, am I not fully recognizing the Messiah for "who He is...present in my life right now" as I seek deliverance from my own Romans?

Added December 23rd: Another great talk on recognizing the Lord for who He is. It also echoes the lesson I taught my adopted Primary class of 9 and 10 year olds this Sunday.

Healing from the Lord comes in unexpected ways. "True hope is founded in Christ's power to redeem." To help me better recognize the Lord's hand in my life and rekindle my hope and trust in Him, I have studied my past and even the scriptural past.

Journal entry for December 9th 2014: Hopeful Christmas (John 16:33)

 Most of the basic fertility tests have been done and even redone and the results are promising albeit they do not provide an answer for why our family is growing slower than expected. But as I pondered the miracles of Christmas and prepared my Hannukah decorations (we're celebrating both this year; see the picture above) I was touched by the story of Elizabeth conceiving in her old age and the strength she and her cousin shared in their miraculous experiences. It filled me with hope. As I wrote to Greg, "I wish I could share with you what I am feeling [right now]. This kind of lump in my throat is the best kind to have." Victoria has been sick off and on this past week and this afternoon she is sleeping. I am grateful to take the opportunity to slow down and cuddle more and do whatever she wants to do; even if she is too tired to do much of anything besides enjoy my company and watch me do things that we would normally do together. God has been good to me and my family. I am grateful for the hope that I feel springing within me once again. I hope to continue exercising my faith by not waiting for the next chapter of my life to begin.

 
 In a recent Facebook post, I shared four questions from a creative friend of mine, Brooke Schultz, to get the juices flowing as you prepare to make New Year's Resolutions. 1) What are you up against in 2015? 2) What are your secret goals that seem impossible? 3) What are you struggling with right now? 4) What do you wish for, creatively and personally? I humble submit that the answer to all of these can be found is you look inward to recognize your potential as a child of God, look outward in service to others, and look upward to God.

1. What am I up against for 2015? My sweet genius of a husband, Greg, will be doing the preliminary defense of his doctoral thesis, hopefully going to a large conference, and taking a class or two in addition to his current work load as an RA. Our toddler daughter is working on toilet training still. And I've signed up for a weekly babysitting job in our home. All these blessing and many more come from the Lord above.

2. What are your secret goals that seem impossible? Up until this month I probably would have said something about getting pregnant, but given my new-found hopes I am glad to relabel that task as POSSIBLE. I want to sing opera again but have come to admit that my work ethic needs work. I need to stay motivated in order to keep my talents cultivated. I want to do more with decorating our home on a budget which means that some projects (redoing my master bedroom and bathroom with homemade bedding and a paint job) will have to stay in the dream stage until we can afford them or I get creative enough to modify my existing ideas. Philippians 4:13 redefines impossible beautifully.

3. What are you struggling with? I don't want my soul to feel stifled as it waits for things. Whether it's an updated look for my home or a second child that's been sought after for years now, I want to find ways to express and fulfill myself even if it means not getting what I want. I need to make art that brings joy and beauty to myself and those around me independent of a few specific creative visions yet to be made real. All struggles are swallowed up in Christ's atonement. 

4. What do you wish for, creatively and personally? In short I hope to make the most of my opportunities to nurture others while nurturing myself. I know that the Lord will help me reach my divine potential as one of His children. Moses 1:39.