Bedroom Decor & More: An Inspired Room Tour

Have you ever read a book that inspired you to make life changes? While I could answer that question with a resounding yes and then share some scriptures, I am actually here to share a book that has found its way onto my reading list. Celebrate with me the launch of this new book with a promising little exercise.

Close your eyes and imagine your bedroom at home, just as it looks right now. Even if you're in there as you read this go ahead and try closing your eyes. No peeking. (note that you might want to finish reading the paragraph before closing your eyes) What is the general condition of your room? What pictures are on the walls? Are there knick-knacks laying around? How about the closet? Open the door. Can you easily find what you need in there? Or, after opening it, do you have to put your shoulder to the door to push it closed?

What does your room say about the person that occupies it? Does it reveal your interests? Do you see things that show you enjoy sports, music, art, dance, etc.? How about reading material? Are there magazines, school books, novels, and scriptures in your room?

Your room is one place that definitely shows your skills in organizing and cleaning. Does your room need a little help? Open your eyes. Do you agree that someone could learn a lot about your outside interests as well as your inner thoughts? The things and feelings you choose to surround yourself with reflect your personal thoughts and feelings.They will have an effect on what you think about and how you feel.

So what does your room say about you? Write down a list on one half of your paper. Or type it out if you prefer. Now on the other half, write down your best and worst qualities and interests. Are they on the first list you made? What can you do to change your home to better reflect who you are?

Due to this exercise I found on a scrap of paper from church ages ago, I decided to cross off some things from my I've-been-meaning-to-do-that list. Normally I'm all about doing things the right way the first time and doing "first things first", but a few months ago I found a better momentum in the emptiness of my schedule by cleaning out and discovering with my toddler. My favorite is the organized computer desk and bedroom closet; her favorite would probably be the pair of child sized scissors we found.

In preparing the house for LDS General Conference weekend and an extended Sabbath we took care of a lot of clutter around the house. It's still not neat as a pin, but it was enough for my OCD self to relax and focus on what's most important about that special weekend! Oh and in addition to several spiritual goals, I made the goal to make my bed daily. I must say that I'm doing pretty well, though I admit to making the beds and pick up some toys just before taking today's photos.

 
 Since her room should grow with her, we recently moved around some toys and bookshelves in Toria's room to make her a reading nook. It's also where she keeps her dolls and rock collection (behind the doll beds.) Can you spot the outgrown clothes I haven't finished boxing up?

The ball pit is a great toy for kids of a wide age range: totally worth the messes for us. We also have a rotational display of artwork on a clothesline. The flower branches are left from a church function.

Bedtime is a family affair that brings us together every night. What I like best about this room is that even though it's my daughter's room I feel like it represents our entire family. Sometimes messy and disorganized, usually fun yet structured, cleans up nicely... So what is your favorite room in your house and why?

You know what I look forward to most about this new book? It supports my life goal of blooming where your planted and "love the house you have." My creativity, generous friends, and modest budget have allowed me to do a lot towards building my dream home.

2 Nephi: Part Two of What the Book of Mormon Has to Teach About Parenting (and Related Issues)

"My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions..."
                                                                           ~ 2 Nephi 4:20, emphasis added

This phrase really stood out to me this time. In the previous verse we get a flavor of the internal juxtaposition Nephi faces; we get a feeling for how he is experiencing two very different reactions to his trials, sets of emotions that we often think of as not being able to have at the same time. But Nephi shows us otherwise. In verse 19 we read: "And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted."

Here Nephi is feeling "encompassed about" and probably overwhelmed at times by the difficulties he faces on a day to day basis. Note that its not until the fourth verse of his lamenting prayer that he eludes to his murderous family! I don't think that is just because he had a lot of other problems he was facing at the time, though that may be true as well. I think this type of attitude comes from an extremely developed sense of the eternal perspective and caring most about what God thinks.

In verse 19 we read that Nephi is not hopeless. He is obviously feeling discouraged (see verse 17-18), but he does not feel helpless and therefore does not despair. Why? Because he knows in whom he has trusted. It's not just a "Hey, I got this because I trust God." He has a personal relationship with God and that is why he can trust enough to see the Lord's hand even in the midst of his trials. Thus we see that Nephi's faith is truly an anchor to his soul. May it be so for you also.

The word through is interesting to me in verse 20. Through as in a preposition other than over, under, or around? Or through as in Nephi's afflictions were the means by which the Lord led? What do each of these interpretations say about the Lord? And have you seen such applications in your life?

Avoiding Trials
God doesn't guide us throughout our lives in such as way as to avoid trials, though sometimes we do receive that blessing. But as Lehi so eloquently teaches just one chapter previous to this: "There must needs be opposition in all things[!]" I've shared before that a wise man once taught me that it's not hard to notice that we live in a fallen world. I used to feel a bit bitter as I'd catch myself whispering with a sigh at some situations, "Evidence of the Fall..." But I don't have to feel bitter, even in the moments when I'm "encompassed about" by my problems! And neither do you. We can try to adopt the attitude of my toddler (yes, I am suggesting copying my 4 year old's attitude) and look at all challenges as learning opportunities. Some such difficulties truly do come about simply because of the world in which I live, but whether or not your sticky situation is deserved it is still an opportunity to build character by coming closer to God. And personally, some of my trials have felt shorter as I have learned to ask "What am I to learn from this?" instead of "Why me?" or "When will this be over?"

Trials Direct Us Inward and Upward
One of the speakers from Time Out for Women spoke about the 3 looks: Look out, look in, and look up. One doesn't practice these looks in sequential order but rather in a cycle and sometimes even simultaneously. During a hard time in life try looking outward to observe the needs of others and do what you can to help. Then look in a ponder how you're reacting to and what you are learning from this unwanted growing opportunity. Then look upward to God and find ways to draw nearer to Him. Sometimes doing so has led me to be truly grateful for blessings in disguises (that's what I like to call trials.)

Sometimes the Lord leads us to him in less-than-obvious ways. We may be directed through the fertile parts of the wilderness, across a stormy sea, or to spend time with people who don't like us (though with Laman and Lemuel I realize this is an understatement.) As Nephi rattles of a list of ways in which the Lord has blessed him, try to not only figure out which specific events he is describing; try to understand how he feels about these various hard times by recognizing the tone in which he describes these past experiences. Hint: he's probably not just suddenly writing with rose-colored glasses on in the middle of a pity party because he remembered that the world is going to be reading his personal, prophetic journal someday.

• [H]e hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
• He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
• He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
• He hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the nighttime.

He goes on to list a few other significant blessings but this list will suffice to make my point. In the first example, Nephi was miraculously instructed to build a boat for his family to reach the Promised Land. Due to the unfortunate choices of others that trip is an eventful one. But as with each of the other examples, Nephi focuses on the actions of one person: God. Doing so drastically simplifies his summation of recent history. I think Nephi's choice--whether a conscious or subconscious one--to focus on the Lord's actions is something he made a habit of doing. Read 1 Nephi and see if you agree. By getting to know the Lord it is easier to have faith in him. One way to get to know people is to see how what they do in a variety of situations, even and especially the less-than-ideal moments.

Challenge this week: Record how you act and feel in your less-than-ideal moments. Study the scriptures to find ways the Lord and/or His servants have continued their work despite their own less-than-ideal circumstances.

Happy Father's Day!

June 21, 2015

Victoria: As she wrote a message to Greg Dear Dad, I love you. Happy Father's Day. Please play with me *pause* all the time.
Greg: That's beautiful Victoria.
Victoria. Now I'm going to draw a little picture on the other side. After a moment That's your wife.
Greg: My wife is a snow person?
Danielle: quietly Yep.
Victoria: a bit disappointed I don't know know how to draw regular/normal people yet.
Greg: Oh that's okay. Mom's coloring is a lot like a snow person.

Greg: We need to get a fog machine and some colored lights.
Danielle: What?!
Greg: It's the cleanest way I know to practice mixing colors.
Less than a minute later Or we could use food coloring and water.
Victoria: Yea!

The Music of the Gospel: Can You Hear It?

I am certain I am not the only one who at some point in their life has wanted to make someone else do something.  It may be a teacher at school requesting his students to listen, a parent or babysitter teaching the right way to do something--whether or not there always is a "right" way is another series of posts, but yes there often IS a "right" way--I have even noticed this tendency in young children playing together. Because of this seemingly universal challenge and my passion for music, the extended metaphor of this General Conference talk really hit me. It still speaks to me and I know it can and will touch some of you.

          “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood”—or by 

          virtue of being the dad or the mom or the biggest or the loudest—“only by persuasion, by long-

          suffering, by gentleness and meekness, … by love unfeigned; [and] by kindness” 

          (D&C 121:41–42).

          "[These] are the attributes that tune our hearts to the music of 

          the gospel. When they are present, the dance steps will be 

          performed more naturally and joyfully by all of the dancers in 

          the family, without the need for threats or intimidation or 

          compulsion."

For those of you not familiar with the talk, go ahead and open the link. I'll wait...No seriously.

So what did you think? Many of my friends probably heard it before and if you have, did you remember it? Interesting tangent: picture of Navajo medicine man for reference. I love the power in the metaphor that dancing can help heal and that the medicine man could teach the doctor the steps but not necessarily how to hear the music. Dancing is a joyful expression, a beautiful blending of technique and emotion; this carries weight in the metaphor I think.

Lately I have been praying for the Lord to help me learn compassion. I view this as 

a merciful and nurturing sort of love independent of the recipient's worthiness or desires. I have high standards for myself and others am painfully aware of my default setting of coercion when it comes to "teaching" what is right. (My daughter, Victoria, recently picked up the line, "But you have to let me do this myself or I will never learn...") For the past several months, the Lord has blessed me to be very aware of my feelings and motivations, even in the moment. I am still learning to be temperate but I nevertheless hear the music of the gospel more often than not. But much like a musician wishing to take her musicianship to the next level, the Spirit of the Lord must be present for me to make lasting improvements. That's part of the power of Christ's Atonement.

Returning to Elder Wilford W. Andersen's talk, 

          If early efforts at making music seem dissonant and discordant, remember that dissonance 

          cannot be corrected by criticism. Dissonance in the home is like darkness 

          in a room. It does little good to scold the darkness. We must                   displace the darkness by introducing light.

          So if the basses in your family choir are too loud and overbearing, or if the string section in 

          your family orchestra is a little too shrill or a little bit sharp, or if those impetuous piccolos are 

          out of tune or out of control, be patient. If you’re not hearing the music of the gospel in your 

          home, please remember these two words: keep practicing.

May I add my testimony to his that "[w]ith God’s help, the day will come when the music of the gospel will fill your home with unspeakable joy." Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has meant learning the dance steps as well as how to hear the music of Christ's gospel. It is a life-long listening cycle and one that has blessed my life immeasurably. I know that 

          Even when performed well, the music will not solve all of our problems. There will still be 

          crescendos and decrescendos in our lives, staccatos and legatos. Such is the nature of life on 

          planet earth. [I once had a wise professor of religion label these things "evidences of the Fall."]

          But when we add music to the dance steps, the sometimes complicated rhythms of marriage 

          and family life tend to move toward a harmonious balance. Even our most difficult challenges 

          will add rich plaintive tones and moving motifs.

So no matter where you are in life, tune in to the Lord's radio station and start dancing. He will help you find joy in even the awkward beginner's phases, a foretaste of the joy He himself feels as we progress towards our infinite potential as His own spirit sons and daughters. You must learn to join the dance!

In preparation for the Indianapolis Temple dedication

I will be singing this as part of a 20 voice choir in the Celestial Room. I've performed this same hymn once before years ago at the dedication of the Rexburg temple, but I must admit that the words were not as clear as they should be in my mind. As I have studied them this week, the lyrics have come alive again my heart and so I share my testimony with you on this hallowed occasion.

I believe in Christ; He is my King.
With all my heart to Him I'll sing.
I'll raise my voice in praise and joy,
In grand amens my tongue employ.                

God is so awesome that of course I will praise Him. His awesomeness also extends to His listening to and answering my personal prayers!

I believe in Christ; He is God's Son.
On earth to dwell, His soul did come.
He healed the sick the dead He raised.
Good works were His: His name be praised!

The end of this first verse (originally there were 8 written by Brother McKonkie which were combined into 4 longer verses for the sake of hymn writing) reminds me of the beginning of The Living Christ. I love how simply and powerfully these words testify of the condescension of The Only Begotten of the Father. It gets personal starting in the very next verse.

I believe in Christ, my Lord, my God.
My feet He plants on gospel sod.
I'll worship Him [in gratitude for this and all other blessings] with all my might.
He is the source of truth and light.

When life gets hard and I feel discouraged I pray from understanding and love from the source of all truth. In performing the infinite atonement, He descended below all things. And I think of this as I continue singing.

I believe in Christ. He ransoms me.
From Satan's grasp He sets me free.
And I shall live in joy and love
In His eternal courts above.

I have taught my daughter to answer the following questions. What is the Atonement? The Key. The Key to what? The key that unlocks the gate into Heaven. And who turns that key? Jesus Christ. And what do we have to do for him to turn the key for us? Repent. This is the simple but true conversation I strive to live each day as I look forward to the Second Coming sung of in the next verse.

I believe in Christ; He stands supreme!                This means my morality should come from His.
From Him I'll gain my fondest dream.                  Obviously exaltation but also things in this life too...
And while I strive through grief and pain
His voice is heard: Ye shall obtain.                       God always keeps His promises!

I believe in Christ. So, come what may,
With Him I'll stand at that great day                    Reaffirming the promises I have made with God...
When on this earth He comes again
To rule among the sons of men.

This is only a portion of the testimony shared by Brother McConkie at the LDS General Conference in April 1972. Go and read it and record your feelings as you ponder his words. It doesn't have to be Christmas or Easter for us to consider or relationship with God and to live our testimonies of truth. So in the words of another great hymn: "Go and do something today!"

1 Nephi: Part One of a Series on Likening the Scriptures

One of my Relief Society president's in college once shared how every now and then she gets a paperback copy of the Book of Mormon, writes her question inside and starts praying and fasting and marking it up. And every time the scriptures come to life in a new way for her! So, for my personal scripture study I have been studying how we receive strength beyond our own.

I was also inspired a while back by a visiting general authority and his wife. She had many touching things to say and her testimony was beautiful. She mentioned briefly that she had written a book called The Book of Mormon: A Pattern for Parenting. This may explain in part why all throughout First Nephi I was drawn to ways to better live the gospel as a mother and wife. So here are some insights on a fruitful tangent. (I'm sure if I thought hard enough I could make a nerdy math joke, but I won't.)

Chapter 1: Personal Prayer and Journal Keeping
This may be stating the obvious but I'll go out on a limb here and write it anyway: You can't be a good parent without a whole lot of prayer. And I don't mean the desperate in-the-moment child-abuse-preventing kind, though those may be necessary at times. I'm talking about talking with the Lord in gratitude and with an intent to act upon the answers He sends.

In verses 1-2 and 16-17 we learn about another helpful habit of successful parents: journal keeping. Lehi taught his son Nephi (and probably his other children as well) to read and write. Thus Nephi would be able to read the scriptures taken from Laban in addition to writing a scriptural record of his own. But he also abridged his father's record, or a piece of it anyway. If you're not familiar with why this was a wise use of his writing and family history skills, check out this link to the LDS seminary manual regarding the translation of the first section of the Book of Mormon.

Another wonderful blessing of journal keeping is witnessed in verse one. Nephi writes that despite his life being hard, "nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days." I'm not sure if his keeping a record as commanded by God was what allowed him to come the such a knowledge and testimony, but our latter-day prophets have testified again and again of the importance of keeping a personal record.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught:
         But I promise you that if you will keep your journals and 
         records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to 
         your families, to your children, your grandchildren, and 
         others, on through the generations....
       
        From time immemorial the Lord has counseled us to be a 
        record-keeping people.

Nephi may be writing what we know as the first few chapters of the Book of Mormon in hindsight, but one of my fondest prayers in my choice callings of wife and mother is that I and my children will be able to recognize from our lives the many tender mercies which come from faithful obedience to true principles.

Chapter 2: Sanctifying Obedience
So here's another obvious lesson about good parenting: it involves sacrifice. And I'm talking about true sacrifice where we give up something good for something even better. Because let's face it: giving up whatever we want to do what God wants us to makes us better people period. I firmly believe doing so is one of our main purposes of this mortal probation!

What sort of things might we sacrifice as parents? Sleep, our pride and sometimes our dignity, our sanity, personal dreams, postponed travel plans, time alone, financial security... What can we learn from Lehi about sacrifice? Well, let's ponder his examples of sanctifying obedience. 1) He risk his life to deliver his prophet message or burden as Isaiah sometimes calls it. 2) In order to save his life and because he was commanded of the Lord, he abandoned his way of life and relative comfort for a really long camping trip and boat ride with some less than cooperative children. 3) He was grateful for the warnings of God even if they were hard to follow: so grateful in fact that he built an altar of stones and made an offering! 4) Even in the desert he found ways to fulfill his eternal calling as a father and teach his sons of the Lord's ways.

My parents have always been great example to me. I have memories of learning principles of "faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities" from watching, playing with, and working alongside them. My dad was always inviting us to draw gospel parallels and asking us what we learned. While I didn't always have the best attitude about it growing up, I appreciated it even then, and more so now as I am a parent myself.

Learning from the less-than-teachable attitudes of Laman and Lemuel and recalling that just about everyone in this caravan would have murmuring moments before reaching the Promised Land, I believe it's important to always be aware of your attitude and how it is affecting your current situation. Notice I didn't say how your attitude is affected by your current situation. If you're looking for a way to adjust your attitude for the better? Come to know that dealings of Almighty God. (See verse 12 and recall lessons from the previous chapter of 1 Ne. 1:1.)

I think Lehi did this and his example led Nephi to do so as well. Consider the juxtaposition in verses 14 and 15. Lehi is filled with the power of God to the confounding of his two murderous sons and yet he dwells in a tent. While he would've been justifiably angry, I don't think he could have had so profound an impact in rebuking them if his words were just spoken in rage. It says he was filled with the Spirit of God and that he spoke unto them" until their whole frames did shake before him." The Lord can help us as we seek to teach and discipline our children. Of course He will, I mean they're His children too after all! I am certain Lehi sought the Lord's assistance regularly in prayer and that is part of what prompted his then youngest son Nephi to go to the Lord in prayer and receive a testimony that his father was indeed a prophet called of God.

1 Nephi 15:3-6 Dealing with Challenges
Some things are just hard to understand. Unless you inquire of the Lord.

Sometimes we're discouraged by the actions or lack thereof by those around us. Sometimes we're less than hopefully. When we are already discouraged, Satan will come and try to make it worse. But we can still choose our reactions and we must remember that Christ has descended below ALL things. He has born your grief and experienced YOUR sorrows. We can also receive strength from God.

Once we are strengthened we must forge that strength of character by strengthening and edifying others.

I've Got the Music in Me: How I Write Music

I thought it would be nice to preserve for myself and posterity how it is that I come up with parodies. As my toddler daughter and her friends will readily attest, when Mommy is happy she often sings and dances, especially in the kitchen. When I was younger I would choose a topic and then a song that conveyed the mood I wanted. For an upcoming family reunion the music was chosen for me and is a song I know well: "Follow the Prophet". Each married couple among my grandparents' descendants is to come up with a verse about their small piece of the family tree.

I started by jotting down a few key words and phrases of events or titles I should probably include. While humming the first few lines in my head, those phrases were easily embellished to fit into the meter. Cadences were locked into place once I simultaneously figured out what I wanted to say about these keys phrases and which rhyming words would allow me to string them together in a coherent fashion.

As I went along I came up with three possible verses. There were things I liked and disliked about each one. Then it became a game of English analysis. I wanted to be deliberate in how I presented myself and my family. How did I decide what to include? Read on.

I wanted our verse to show how we view ourselves and to highlight the things that are most important to us. Ironically the draft that did this best did not initially mention physics or music. (Physics is what my husband has studied throughout college and grad school; it represents his love for solving problems and learning how things work. Music represents my expressive nature and my desire to find beauty in everything then share it with those around me. I sang before I could talk.) I swapped out the phrase "high school sweethearts" for singer and physicist, since I felt these labels to be more accurate.

Initially I wanted to possibly mention our waiting for child #2. Instead I chose not to mention our secondary infertility at risk of making people uncomfortable. We're not trying to complain or look for sympathy, but it is so often on our minds. Also, since Greg's little brother married my little sister and they just had their first child, the lines about weaving our two family names into one and having a daughter are not as unique as one might think.

Draft #1

Out in Rexburg, Idaho Greg met Danielle:

Romance quickly followed,

A mission as well.

Now he studies physics out in Illinois,

Victoria, their daughter, is their pride and joy.

Draft #2

Once their was a singer who loved a physics nerd,

Through college and a mission in case you hadn't heard.

Weaving Hart and Eaton into a family,  

We have a sweet daughter: Victoria is she.

Going through all the drafts, the one I like best includes only our starting location. The more I think about it, the more limiting of our future it could be to end the verse with our current location. Obviously Illinois is not an ending in our lives, but ending a verse that way doesn't leave the listener following us into a hopeful future.

Here's the final draft:

A singer and a physicist in Rexburg, Idaho:          
Studying together, our love did grow.                                  
College, mission, more school, a daughter joined our clan!
We're a happy family thanks to God's great plan.

I like how the first few lines don't have an obvious beginning date. Our friendship in high school grew and blossomed into a lovely marriage from subtle beginnings. I like too that the second line is not as specific as it could be, implying how together we study anything. (It's true. From calculus to the scriptures to opera, we enjoy it all.) I love ending with our testimony. God's plan for all His children has been the overarching goal in everything we do. Its doctrines enrich our perspective and color even our day to day actions. And there you have it.