Spirit Week: A Mom's Guide to at Home Fun

Being the wife of a graduate student means, among other things, that sometimes I am a single parent. To stay strong and sane while Daddy is at a conference (or even when we home bodies are just getting too bored with the usual routine,) we reinvented theme days. Kind of like when schools have crazy fun theme weeks to promote school spirit or have a bit of fun before a holiday break. I did this for the first time almost a year ago and for a whole week. At the end of the week my too-excited-to-sleep daughter asked at bedtime, "What is tomorrow's day?" I had to explain that we wouldn't always have theme days but that these were special holidays we made up, so they had to be planned and scheduled in advance.

Since then the Toddler Princess and I have enjoyed dreaming up all kinds of fun themes. The planning process begins with the selection of a vague-yet-specific theme and a quick look at Pinterest for birthday parties with that sort of theme. It has to be fairly inexpensive, DIY sort of stuff. The general template includes 1) a brief devotional, 2) food and/or drink ideas, 3) possible activities and decorations, as well as 4) book and 5) movie suggestions.

Now, going all out with a theme is fun. But we've also enjoyed successful theme days with minimal planning and effort. Yes, some theme days are specifically inspired by movies or TV shows; some are more generic. Also, most of my ideas are geared for family fun with children ages 3 to maybe 6. Everything presented below is made to be adaptable and inspire you to be that creative mom or dad or babysitter or whatever.

Princess Day (any and all of them)

You can be as specific as you like but this day's theme was easier for us to not choose a specific princess. We define princess to be “a young woman of noble birthright who lives up to the goodness inherent in her and brings out the goodness in others. This goodness is what makes her beautiful.”

Movie suggestions: Faerie Tale Theatre videos by youtuber Oz Bey, A Little Princess, Cinderella (live action)...we'll be watching Beauty and the Beast in French

Morning devotional: What does it mean to be a prince or princess? To be kind and have the courage to be good no matter what. To care for others more than yourself. Read the story of Esther.

Food/snacks: make muffins, slice fruit, and cut sandwiches into dainty triangles for a tea party

Decorations (optional): pennant banners, things from the lives of your favorite princess stories like an enchanted rose

Activities: dress up and dress fittings, build a castle fort, coloring a dragon or making your own fairy tale book, story time, throwing a ball aka dance party

Book suggestions: Rapunzel's Revenge, a graphic novel by Shannon and Dean Hale; The Princess in Black, also by Shannon Hale; Arabian Nights; The Little Prince (for older children)

Ballerina Day

Recently I asked Victoria “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Her most consistent answers have been a mommy and a ballerina. So of course we have to have Ballerina Day! And did you know you can watch an entire ballet on youtube? (Or just your favorite parts if your toddler hasn't been trained to sit through a concert of that length. No time like the present to learn and in the comfort of your own home too!)

Morning devotional: "When thou art merry praise the Lord with song and dance..." D&C somewhere; maybe something from Psalms
Movie suggestions: The Nutcracker on youtube; Sleeping Beauty on youtube; BYU's Swan Lake on youtube (the facial expressions and sincerity of the Prince and Odette are so moving)

Food/snacks: Healthy snacks

Decorations (optional): ballerina silhouettes with snowflakes for tutus

Activities: dance party, watch /do and ballet conditioning work out videos, put on your very own ballet show, dress up, go to the store and try on dance outfits and shoes

Book suggestions: Mia Dances Back to School and other Mia books, Katy Duck books (another easy-to-read series from the library),

Camping Day

Movie suggestions (optional):

Morning devotional: Sing the hymn “How Great Thou Art” or LDS children's song “My Heavenly Father Loves Me.”

Food/snacks: Eat tin foil dinners or roasted hot dogs with mud pie (chocolate cream pie) and/or s'mores for dessert. "Catch of the day" swedish fish, gummy bears, twigs aka pirouette cookie sticks

Decorations (optional): Set up a small tent inside.

Activities: Set up the tent inside. Play card games in the tent like my family did when I was a little girl. Go for a long walk or hike. Go star gazing. Make a map of your house to show certain camping sites aka rooms and be the forest ranger in charge.

Book suggestions: Lady Bug Girl Goes Camping, Going on a Bear Hunt, Fancy Nancy: Poison Ivy Expert

Alladin Day: Dinner-and-a-Movie Party

Sometimes a theme day the way we usually do them—planning far in advance and going all out—is too much work. Maybe Mom has some appointments in the morning or the kids aren't home from school yet? When Mom is running out of ideas or even just running out of steam, we sometimes have these abbreviated theme nights for some low key fun as a family.

Have something Arabian like hummus and chips, apple slices like Aladdin & Jasmine stole from the market, marinated chicken kabobs, Schnuck's orange vineagrette couscous, & falafel. Genie juice to drink (water and a pitcher of labeled lemonade.)

Snack during the movie: Rajah's tail (cheetoes or dipped pretzel rods)

Book suggestions: Arabian Nights, Alladin, anything with a genie in it even!

Other theme days we've done include Trains Day, Pirate Day, Under and Over the Sea Day, Back to the Future Day, and Star Wars Day. 

Theme days we've planned but haven't tried yet: Big Hero 6 Day, My Little Ponies Day, Fairy/Tinkerbelle Day, Jungle Day, Dinosaur Day and Spa Day.

What themes would you like to try? Want to know more about a specific theme day or want help planning (it's becoming a bit more than a hobby for me)? Let me know!

Sukkot: A Mormon Christmas Advent

Why We Celebrate Miracles with 2 Holidays
Many state that unless you're a practicing Jew you should not observe Hanukkah because the whole holiday was founded to strengthen Jewish culture and religious dedication and to purify oneself from worldly influence. Thus being a non-Jew and observing this holiday undermines it very purposes.

So what is my Christian family with no biological ties to Judaism doing celebrating Hanukkah, and as an advent to Christ's birth no less?! Well, I strive to observe this historic holiday with reverence for my God and respect for the people who brought it into existence. We celebrate the legendary history of this Feast of Dedication because of its many spiritual lessons. Saying we're celebrating Sukkot (see Leviticus 23:33-44) the Messianic Jewish way is probably the most accurate explanation. Because I believe in celebrating "anything virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy" and I know many of you do as well, I have decide to continue this tradition another year and share with you my testimony as well as some logistics.

Hanukkah's History: The legends are nicer than the facts
While you may not have heard of Sukkot perhaps you have heard of the miracle of the oil burning for 8 days and nights. This special oil took time to be prepared enough to be temple-grade but the Maccabees wanted to keep the eternal flame lit and not wait. So they went forward in faith. So the story goes.

But while researching topics for our nightly devotionals I came across a disappointing story: the miracle is made up! Quoting from one website in summation of several:

Jewish Rabbi Daniel Kohn, in answer to the question, “Is the miracle of Chanukah made up?” stated that the whole concept of the miracle of the oil, was indeed untrue. While stating that the actual lighting of the Menorah for the dedication of the Temple was real and based on spiritual significance, the rabbinic writings in the Talmud took the shift from the Maccabeean military victory to that of a claimed miracle of the oil for the Menorah.

The perceived glory of the Maccabean victory became overshadowed due to all they did that caused harm to fellow Jews and their focus became viewed as dangerous and containing seditious ideas that were to be suppressed. The fear of glorifying the military success of the Maccabeans while under Roman rule, formed the basis for the idea of inventing the story of the miracle of the oil to become the focus and with it, masked the truth about the Maccabees and their shameful legacy for many years. By reinventing the stories, the rabbis kept the holiday alive with a shift in focus and thereby inserted more religious significance.

While I am an ardent defender and cultivator of truth, I find that this not-so-accurate legend still teaches me and my family. So we just tell the story for the legend that it is and glean truths from it that bring us closer to God.

Symbols of the Festival
While we have yet to build a sukkah and we do keep a small Christmas tree (two wrong ways to celebrate Sukkot), I find comfort and familiarity as a Mormon celebrating Hanukkah (which by the way has several acceptable spellings.) I love that the Hanukkiah (also known as the menorah) is a symbol of the tree of life. I love the symbolism of the Shamash candle or the servant candle (the one in the middle which is higher up than the others) being is used to light the other candles from right to left.

While playing dreidel is the closest we'll come in our family to any sort of gambling games, I love the message that is spelled out there. Nun, Gimmel, Hay, and Shin stand for "Nes gadol ha'ya shem" which translates to, "A Great miracle happened there." We hang a small banner proclaim thus over our homemade nativity. Tradition has it that the dreidel game was a cover up to fool the Romans since studying the Torah was forbidden. Our family deeply values studying the scriptures both individually and as a family and we are blessed to do so frequently and regularly. All these symbols tie in well to various themes for nightly devotionals.

Below is our proposed study schedule for the year:

Day #1, Sunday, also the 1st presidency devotional broadcast: the light of creation
Day #2, Monday, potluck dinner with the Meiers and Deckers: the light given to Adam (studying the fall and the sybollism of the Tree of Life)
Day #3, Tuesday: the light of the Messiah (specifically studying the resurrection and Christ as the Shamash)
Day #4, Wednesday: the light of the commandments (studying Psalms 119:9-11)
Day #5, Thursday: study the light of the Restoration and Joseph Smith as the Shamash
Day #6, Friday: the light of the Abrahamic covenant (studying temple covenants)
Day #7, Saturday, potluck dinner with the Savages and Shaws: the light of discipleship (Matt. 5:13-16 and this Ensign article)
Day #8, dinner and Family Home Evening with the YSA branch: Just as the Jews of old purified their temple, we must purify our lives to better shine the light of Christ and prepare for his 2nd coming.

While I'm not sure we'll keep up this tradition another year I know that all our family's traditions are carefully selected to bring us and those around us unto Christ. In the spirit of Hanukkah we share our light with the world. What traditions does your family have? How have they come about?

Bedroom Decor & More: An Inspired Room Tour

Have you ever read a book that inspired you to make life changes? While I could answer that question with a resounding yes and then share some scriptures, I am actually here to share a book that has found its way onto my reading list. Celebrate with me the launch of this new book with a promising little exercise.

Close your eyes and imagine your bedroom at home, just as it looks right now. Even if you're in there as you read this go ahead and try closing your eyes. No peeking. (note that you might want to finish reading the paragraph before closing your eyes) What is the general condition of your room? What pictures are on the walls? Are there knick-knacks laying around? How about the closet? Open the door. Can you easily find what you need in there? Or, after opening it, do you have to put your shoulder to the door to push it closed?

What does your room say about the person that occupies it? Does it reveal your interests? Do you see things that show you enjoy sports, music, art, dance, etc.? How about reading material? Are there magazines, school books, novels, and scriptures in your room?

Your room is one place that definitely shows your skills in organizing and cleaning. Does your room need a little help? Open your eyes. Do you agree that someone could learn a lot about your outside interests as well as your inner thoughts? The things and feelings you choose to surround yourself with reflect your personal thoughts and feelings.They will have an effect on what you think about and how you feel.

So what does your room say about you? Write down a list on one half of your paper. Or type it out if you prefer. Now on the other half, write down your best and worst qualities and interests. Are they on the first list you made? What can you do to change your home to better reflect who you are?

Due to this exercise I found on a scrap of paper from church ages ago, I decided to cross off some things from my I've-been-meaning-to-do-that list. Normally I'm all about doing things the right way the first time and doing "first things first", but a few months ago I found a better momentum in the emptiness of my schedule by cleaning out and discovering with my toddler. My favorite is the organized computer desk and bedroom closet; her favorite would probably be the pair of child sized scissors we found.

In preparing the house for LDS General Conference weekend and an extended Sabbath we took care of a lot of clutter around the house. It's still not neat as a pin, but it was enough for my OCD self to relax and focus on what's most important about that special weekend! Oh and in addition to several spiritual goals, I made the goal to make my bed daily. I must say that I'm doing pretty well, though I admit to making the beds and pick up some toys just before taking today's photos.

 
 Since her room should grow with her, we recently moved around some toys and bookshelves in Toria's room to make her a reading nook. It's also where she keeps her dolls and rock collection (behind the doll beds.) Can you spot the outgrown clothes I haven't finished boxing up?

The ball pit is a great toy for kids of a wide age range: totally worth the messes for us. We also have a rotational display of artwork on a clothesline. The flower branches are left from a church function.

Bedtime is a family affair that brings us together every night. What I like best about this room is that even though it's my daughter's room I feel like it represents our entire family. Sometimes messy and disorganized, usually fun yet structured, cleans up nicely... So what is your favorite room in your house and why?

You know what I look forward to most about this new book? It supports my life goal of blooming where your planted and "love the house you have." My creativity, generous friends, and modest budget have allowed me to do a lot towards building my dream home.

2 Nephi: Part Two of What the Book of Mormon Has to Teach About Parenting (and Related Issues)

"My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions..."
                                                                           ~ 2 Nephi 4:20, emphasis added

This phrase really stood out to me this time. In the previous verse we get a flavor of the internal juxtaposition Nephi faces; we get a feeling for how he is experiencing two very different reactions to his trials, sets of emotions that we often think of as not being able to have at the same time. But Nephi shows us otherwise. In verse 19 we read: "And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted."

Here Nephi is feeling "encompassed about" and probably overwhelmed at times by the difficulties he faces on a day to day basis. Note that its not until the fourth verse of his lamenting prayer that he eludes to his murderous family! I don't think that is just because he had a lot of other problems he was facing at the time, though that may be true as well. I think this type of attitude comes from an extremely developed sense of the eternal perspective and caring most about what God thinks.

In verse 19 we read that Nephi is not hopeless. He is obviously feeling discouraged (see verse 17-18), but he does not feel helpless and therefore does not despair. Why? Because he knows in whom he has trusted. It's not just a "Hey, I got this because I trust God." He has a personal relationship with God and that is why he can trust enough to see the Lord's hand even in the midst of his trials. Thus we see that Nephi's faith is truly an anchor to his soul. May it be so for you also.

The word through is interesting to me in verse 20. Through as in a preposition other than over, under, or around? Or through as in Nephi's afflictions were the means by which the Lord led? What do each of these interpretations say about the Lord? And have you seen such applications in your life?

Avoiding Trials
God doesn't guide us throughout our lives in such as way as to avoid trials, though sometimes we do receive that blessing. But as Lehi so eloquently teaches just one chapter previous to this: "There must needs be opposition in all things[!]" I've shared before that a wise man once taught me that it's not hard to notice that we live in a fallen world. I used to feel a bit bitter as I'd catch myself whispering with a sigh at some situations, "Evidence of the Fall..." But I don't have to feel bitter, even in the moments when I'm "encompassed about" by my problems! And neither do you. We can try to adopt the attitude of my toddler (yes, I am suggesting copying my 4 year old's attitude) and look at all challenges as learning opportunities. Some such difficulties truly do come about simply because of the world in which I live, but whether or not your sticky situation is deserved it is still an opportunity to build character by coming closer to God. And personally, some of my trials have felt shorter as I have learned to ask "What am I to learn from this?" instead of "Why me?" or "When will this be over?"

Trials Direct Us Inward and Upward
One of the speakers from Time Out for Women spoke about the 3 looks: Look out, look in, and look up. One doesn't practice these looks in sequential order but rather in a cycle and sometimes even simultaneously. During a hard time in life try looking outward to observe the needs of others and do what you can to help. Then look in a ponder how you're reacting to and what you are learning from this unwanted growing opportunity. Then look upward to God and find ways to draw nearer to Him. Sometimes doing so has led me to be truly grateful for blessings in disguises (that's what I like to call trials.)

Sometimes the Lord leads us to him in less-than-obvious ways. We may be directed through the fertile parts of the wilderness, across a stormy sea, or to spend time with people who don't like us (though with Laman and Lemuel I realize this is an understatement.) As Nephi rattles of a list of ways in which the Lord has blessed him, try to not only figure out which specific events he is describing; try to understand how he feels about these various hard times by recognizing the tone in which he describes these past experiences. Hint: he's probably not just suddenly writing with rose-colored glasses on in the middle of a pity party because he remembered that the world is going to be reading his personal, prophetic journal someday.

• [H]e hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
• He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
• He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
• He hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the nighttime.

He goes on to list a few other significant blessings but this list will suffice to make my point. In the first example, Nephi was miraculously instructed to build a boat for his family to reach the Promised Land. Due to the unfortunate choices of others that trip is an eventful one. But as with each of the other examples, Nephi focuses on the actions of one person: God. Doing so drastically simplifies his summation of recent history. I think Nephi's choice--whether a conscious or subconscious one--to focus on the Lord's actions is something he made a habit of doing. Read 1 Nephi and see if you agree. By getting to know the Lord it is easier to have faith in him. One way to get to know people is to see how what they do in a variety of situations, even and especially the less-than-ideal moments.

Challenge this week: Record how you act and feel in your less-than-ideal moments. Study the scriptures to find ways the Lord and/or His servants have continued their work despite their own less-than-ideal circumstances.

Happy Father's Day!

June 21, 2015

Victoria: As she wrote a message to Greg Dear Dad, I love you. Happy Father's Day. Please play with me *pause* all the time.
Greg: That's beautiful Victoria.
Victoria. Now I'm going to draw a little picture on the other side. After a moment That's your wife.
Greg: My wife is a snow person?
Danielle: quietly Yep.
Victoria: a bit disappointed I don't know know how to draw regular/normal people yet.
Greg: Oh that's okay. Mom's coloring is a lot like a snow person.

Greg: We need to get a fog machine and some colored lights.
Danielle: What?!
Greg: It's the cleanest way I know to practice mixing colors.
Less than a minute later Or we could use food coloring and water.
Victoria: Yea!

The Music of the Gospel: Can You Hear It?

I am certain I am not the only one who at some point in their life has wanted to make someone else do something.  It may be a teacher at school requesting his students to listen, a parent or babysitter teaching the right way to do something--whether or not there always is a "right" way is another series of posts, but yes there often IS a "right" way--I have even noticed this tendency in young children playing together. Because of this seemingly universal challenge and my passion for music, the extended metaphor of this General Conference talk really hit me. It still speaks to me and I know it can and will touch some of you.

          “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood”—or by 

          virtue of being the dad or the mom or the biggest or the loudest—“only by persuasion, by long-

          suffering, by gentleness and meekness, … by love unfeigned; [and] by kindness” 

          (D&C 121:41–42).

          "[These] are the attributes that tune our hearts to the music of 

          the gospel. When they are present, the dance steps will be 

          performed more naturally and joyfully by all of the dancers in 

          the family, without the need for threats or intimidation or 

          compulsion."

For those of you not familiar with the talk, go ahead and open the link. I'll wait...No seriously.

So what did you think? Many of my friends probably heard it before and if you have, did you remember it? Interesting tangent: picture of Navajo medicine man for reference. I love the power in the metaphor that dancing can help heal and that the medicine man could teach the doctor the steps but not necessarily how to hear the music. Dancing is a joyful expression, a beautiful blending of technique and emotion; this carries weight in the metaphor I think.

Lately I have been praying for the Lord to help me learn compassion. I view this as 

a merciful and nurturing sort of love independent of the recipient's worthiness or desires. I have high standards for myself and others am painfully aware of my default setting of coercion when it comes to "teaching" what is right. (My daughter, Victoria, recently picked up the line, "But you have to let me do this myself or I will never learn...") For the past several months, the Lord has blessed me to be very aware of my feelings and motivations, even in the moment. I am still learning to be temperate but I nevertheless hear the music of the gospel more often than not. But much like a musician wishing to take her musicianship to the next level, the Spirit of the Lord must be present for me to make lasting improvements. That's part of the power of Christ's Atonement.

Returning to Elder Wilford W. Andersen's talk, 

          If early efforts at making music seem dissonant and discordant, remember that dissonance 

          cannot be corrected by criticism. Dissonance in the home is like darkness 

          in a room. It does little good to scold the darkness. We must                   displace the darkness by introducing light.

          So if the basses in your family choir are too loud and overbearing, or if the string section in 

          your family orchestra is a little too shrill or a little bit sharp, or if those impetuous piccolos are 

          out of tune or out of control, be patient. If you’re not hearing the music of the gospel in your 

          home, please remember these two words: keep practicing.

May I add my testimony to his that "[w]ith God’s help, the day will come when the music of the gospel will fill your home with unspeakable joy." Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has meant learning the dance steps as well as how to hear the music of Christ's gospel. It is a life-long listening cycle and one that has blessed my life immeasurably. I know that 

          Even when performed well, the music will not solve all of our problems. There will still be 

          crescendos and decrescendos in our lives, staccatos and legatos. Such is the nature of life on 

          planet earth. [I once had a wise professor of religion label these things "evidences of the Fall."]

          But when we add music to the dance steps, the sometimes complicated rhythms of marriage 

          and family life tend to move toward a harmonious balance. Even our most difficult challenges 

          will add rich plaintive tones and moving motifs.

So no matter where you are in life, tune in to the Lord's radio station and start dancing. He will help you find joy in even the awkward beginner's phases, a foretaste of the joy He himself feels as we progress towards our infinite potential as His own spirit sons and daughters. You must learn to join the dance!

In preparation for the Indianapolis Temple dedication

I will be singing this as part of a 20 voice choir in the Celestial Room. I've performed this same hymn once before years ago at the dedication of the Rexburg temple, but I must admit that the words were not as clear as they should be in my mind. As I have studied them this week, the lyrics have come alive again my heart and so I share my testimony with you on this hallowed occasion.

I believe in Christ; He is my King.
With all my heart to Him I'll sing.
I'll raise my voice in praise and joy,
In grand amens my tongue employ.                

God is so awesome that of course I will praise Him. His awesomeness also extends to His listening to and answering my personal prayers!

I believe in Christ; He is God's Son.
On earth to dwell, His soul did come.
He healed the sick the dead He raised.
Good works were His: His name be praised!

The end of this first verse (originally there were 8 written by Brother McKonkie which were combined into 4 longer verses for the sake of hymn writing) reminds me of the beginning of The Living Christ. I love how simply and powerfully these words testify of the condescension of The Only Begotten of the Father. It gets personal starting in the very next verse.

I believe in Christ, my Lord, my God.
My feet He plants on gospel sod.
I'll worship Him [in gratitude for this and all other blessings] with all my might.
He is the source of truth and light.

When life gets hard and I feel discouraged I pray from understanding and love from the source of all truth. In performing the infinite atonement, He descended below all things. And I think of this as I continue singing.

I believe in Christ. He ransoms me.
From Satan's grasp He sets me free.
And I shall live in joy and love
In His eternal courts above.

I have taught my daughter to answer the following questions. What is the Atonement? The Key. The Key to what? The key that unlocks the gate into Heaven. And who turns that key? Jesus Christ. And what do we have to do for him to turn the key for us? Repent. This is the simple but true conversation I strive to live each day as I look forward to the Second Coming sung of in the next verse.

I believe in Christ; He stands supreme!                This means my morality should come from His.
From Him I'll gain my fondest dream.                  Obviously exaltation but also things in this life too...
And while I strive through grief and pain
His voice is heard: Ye shall obtain.                       God always keeps His promises!

I believe in Christ. So, come what may,
With Him I'll stand at that great day                    Reaffirming the promises I have made with God...
When on this earth He comes again
To rule among the sons of men.

This is only a portion of the testimony shared by Brother McConkie at the LDS General Conference in April 1972. Go and read it and record your feelings as you ponder his words. It doesn't have to be Christmas or Easter for us to consider or relationship with God and to live our testimonies of truth. So in the words of another great hymn: "Go and do something today!"