Home Is Where the Heart Is

Eliana and Victoria enjoying Curtis Orchard.
See more adventures here.

Theresa, one of several beloved neighbors
who will be sorely missed.

                          

August 24th through 29th
I am grateful that Rebecca and Spencer and Eliana could come stay with us for Greg's birthday and Victoria's. And for Greg's thesis defense. I am grateful that Greg's parents could come for some of all that as well. I am grateful that everyone was so helpful that whole week! The Reddens and Skabelunds and Packs gave us dinner and the Shaws offered too. We had all the boxes we needed from the Lovetts and the Reddens. The Shaws provided toys even though they were going out of town. The Pares had a play date despite going out of town too and having a young newborn. The Packs were able to come to Victoria's birthday party last minute. Cynthia was able to give me some final voice lessons and meet Greg and Victoria! I was able to meet Lieve Buzard and her sister in-law Katy and then go out to eat and get advice from them about Yale and ISM.

When we went to pick up the truck, the couple who run the Budget truck rental in Urbana were very helpful. When the tow dolly wasn't working we ended up choosing a refund and caravan-ing. That was the first of many blessings in disguise. We were able to spend some time with almost all the Hansen's home on a Friday afternoon! We enjoyed a great late lunch/really dinner at Tucanos with Greg's birthday discount.

I got lost somewhere in New Jersey or New York, and yet I found my way to our new home with nothing but a road atlas, inspiration, and a few vague memories! The elders quorum president rallied 10 elders to help us move in and when that didn't work out due to our extreme tardiness, the next day he and his 4 year old son were able to come help unload the whole truck and finish what Karen and her oldest 3 daughters had started. We got to meet our dentist neighbor and his 2 assistants, as well as the realtor/property manager. We enjoyed lunch at the deli next door and managed to go shopping twice. We were able to find exactly what we were looking for at Walmart for the bathroom. My allergies have calmed down so I don't feel like I have strep or cannot see because of my itchy, watery eyes. Greg and I have enjoyed a chance to reconnect with each other while Victoria is enjoying school.

September's here! Life got more challenging and lonely once Greg left for work. I feel like I have a lot of jobs I am juggling right now and prioritizing all these responsibilities is trickier than usual because:

a) not all my chores and errands are gratifying. Even some enjoyable ones are suddenly not delightfully fulfilling.

b) it's hard to know which jobs are most urgent (wife jobs, maid jobs, chef jobs, mommy jobs, just-for-my-own-satisfaction jobs...) and

c) even if something needs to get done as soon as possible, I'm realizing that doesn't mean I necessarily have the resources I need to take care of it.

Moving takes up more than just financial reserves. Sometimes you can be left high and dry emotionally or mentally and being far from previous sources of strength can make it more challenging than ever as forging friendships takes time.

In addition to a lovely tour of Yale, we all enjoyed our first visit to the Atlantic Ocean (okay, so it wasn't Gregory's first time.)

top: slipper snail shells | middle:scallop and other clams
bottom: periwinkle snail and a piece of crab shell

October was a bit rough for me and Victoria. We're slowing but surely making friends outside of our family but mother and daughter spent most of the month really pushing each other's buttons. That said we're getting much closer to establishing routines at home and at church with our Sunbeam class. 

I've managed to complete most of my grad school application. I meet twice a week with my newly found accompanist so we can prepare to record my audition portfolio in mid November. It looks like Yale has recording equipment we can use!

Victoria continues to enjoy school. "I am friends with all my classmates even though some of them are mean to me sometimes." 

The second weekend of the month we went to see the Wildings in NY. Victoria really enjoyed playing with Emily and she really enjoyed playing with Lizzy, but she did not know how to play with them both at the same time. Even so she misses sleeping with a gaggle of girls and getting up and playing with them.

On the third Friday of the month when we told Victoria that we would be going to the temple the next day she gave a cheer. When we asked her why it was exciting, she said she wanted to play with "the guy from last time". Our friend Ryan Allred from Rexburg did meet us at the temple again and play with her while we did a session and she had a grand time. It is too bad the weather is getting cold and we'll have to figure something else out.

Just hours before our Halloween trunk-or-treat at church, Victoria's school had a successful trunk or treat thanks to her highly organized PTA and helpful volunteers like us ;-) It was fun but also an opportunity for Victoria to practice patience and good sportsmanship. When we got there she participated in the cake walk several times, but didn't win a cake. Then she waited in line for 30-40 minutes for a balloon animal and was only a few kids from the front when the costume contest started. She gave up her place in line to participate. After strutting her stuff she went back to the balloon animal line for another 15 or so minutes, before again giving up her spot to hear the winners of the costume contest. It paid off because she won the school award for most beautiful costume. Rather than going back to the balloon animal line for a third time she just ran around with her friends.

Giving Gregory a chance to speak for himself about October:
Things are going well for me, but they are also moving fast. I am currently contributing to two Lung Cancer papers (and finishing two papers from Illinois), writing a fellowship application, and I have become the lab's IT guy. I have also become somewhat famous in the department for finishing a puzzle (1000 pieces depicting the innate immune system) that has been sitting in the break room for years.

I enjoyed visiting Karen and Brad. I got to help Brad get an other play set from him boss, drop a tree on their current play set, pick his brain about his projects, and examine his handy work. As good as the pictures are it is worth seeing their house in person.

I bought a bike and have ridden to and from work for the last two weeks. I get to ride down the Farmington Canel Trail from our back yard almost to my office. Some representative pictures of my ride can be found here and here.

This morning, about 45 minutes before leaving for church, our elder's quorum president called me to ask if I could confirm, in French, a 16 year old Haitian boy who was baptized yesterday. With a lot of trepidation and a little bit of cramming, I agreed. Fortunately Mike nor his family seemed perturbed by my broken French. Marshall I didn't to learn exactly where they were from (Danielle was playing postlude and I needed to go wrestle our sunbeams into their seats), but his mother (they only other member in their family) is still in Haiti.

'Tis the season

We try hard to not let Christmas be all consuming but we also don't limit it to a few days on the calendar. Because it's a religious holiday for us we prefer to let it be drawn out in an attempt to have our hearts drawn out unto the Lord. We do some fun and silly things and mention the ideals of Santa Clause but we mostly focus on the miraculous birth of Jesus Christ and the other miracles in our life that God has brought and continues to bring.

So as I prepare to record my grad school audition and host international students in my home for Thanksgiving, I've taken a moment of stillness this morning to reflect on the reasons behind the many upcoming traditions. In love and gratitude I submit one of them to you all for your consideration.

One Christmas we received this story as a gift from my youngest aunt and uncle along with crocheted ornaments in a red velvet bag. It has been a favorite toy year round ever since: Teach the Children

Teach the children…                                                                                               (Author Unknown)

Late one Christmas Eve, I sank back, tired but content, into my easy chair. The kids were in bed, the gifts were wrapped, the milk and cookies waited by the fireplace for Santa. As I sat back admiring the tree with its decorations, I couldn't help feeling that something important was missing. It wasn't long before the tiny twinkling tree lights lulled me to sleep.

I don't know how long I slept, but all of a sudden I knew that I wasn't alone. I opened my eyes, and you can imagine my surprise when I saw Santa Claus himself standing next to my Christmas tree. He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot just as the poem described him, but he was not the "jolly old elf" of Christmas legend. The man who stood before me looked sad and disappointed, and there were tears in his eyes.

"Santa, what's wrong?" I asked, "Why are you crying?"

"It's the children," Santa replied sadly.

"But Santa, the children love you," I said.

"Oh, I know they love me, and they love the gifts I bring them," Santa said, "but the children of today seem to have somehow missed out on the true spirit of Christmas. It's not their fault. It's just that the adults, many of them not having been taught themselves, have forgotten to teach the children."

"Teach them what?" I asked.

Santa's kind old face became soft, more gentle. His eyes began to shine with something more than tears. He spoke softly. "Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas. Teach them that the part of Christmas we can see, hear, and touch is much more than meets the eye. Teach them the symbolism behind the customs and traditions of Christmas which we now observe. Teach them what it is they truly represent."

Santa reached into his bag and pulled out a tiny Christmas tree and set it on my mantle. "Teach them about the Christmas tree. Green is the second color of Christmas. The stately evergreen, with its unchanging color, represents the hope of eternal life in Jesus. Its needles point heavenward as a reminder that mankind's thoughts should turn heavenward as well."

Santa reached into his bag again and pulled out a shiny star and placed it at the top of the small tree. "The star was the heavenly sign of promise. God promised a Savior for the world and the star was the sign of the fulfillment of that promise on the night that Jesus Christ was born. Teach the children that God always fulfills His promises, and that wise men still seek Him."

"Red," said Santa, "is the first color of Christmas." He pulled forth a red ornament for the tiny tree. "Red is deep, intense, vivid. It is the color of the life-giving blood that flows through our veins. It is the symbol of God's greatest gift. Teach the children that Christ gave His life and shed His blood for them that they might have eternal life. When they see the color red, it should remind them of that most wonderful Gift."

Santa found a silver bell in his pack and placed it on the tree. "Just as lost sheep are guided to safety by the sound of the bell, it continues to ring today for all to be guided to the fold. Teach the children to follow the true Shepherd, who gave His life for the sheep."

Santa placed a candle on the mantle and lit it. The soft glow from its one tiny flame brightened the room. "The glow of the candle represents how people can show their thanks for the gift of God's Son that Christmas Eve long ago. Teach the children to follow in Christ's foot steps... to go about doing good. Teach them to let their light so shine before people that all may see it and glorify God. This is what is symbolized when the twinkling lights shine on the tree like hundreds of bright, shining candles, each of them representing one of God's precious children, their light shining for all to see."

Again Santa reached into his bag and this time he brought forth a tiny red and white striped cane. As he hung it on the tree he spoke softly. "The candy cane is a stick of hard white candy: white to symbolize the virgin birth and sinless nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock the foundation of the church, and the firmness of God's promises. The candy cane is in the form of a 'J' to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to earth. It also represents the Good Shepherd's crook, which He uses to reach down into the ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs who, like all sheep, have gone astray. The original candy cane had three small red stripes, which are the stripes of the scourging Jesus received by which we are healed, and a large red stripe that represents the shed blood of Jesus, so that we can have the promise of eternal life."

"Teach these things to the children." Santa brought out a beautiful wreath made of fresh, fragrant greenery tied with a bright red bow. "The bow reminds us of the bond of perfection, which is love. The wreath embodies all the good things about Christmas for those with eyes to see and hearts to understand. It contains the colors of red and green and the heaven-turned needles of the evergreen. The bow tells the story of good will towards all and its color reminds us of Christ's sacrifice. Even its very shape is symbolic, representing eternity and the eternal nature of Christ's love. It is a circle, without beginning and without end. These are the things you must teach the children."

I asked, "But where does that leave you, Santa?"

The tears gone now from his eyes, a smile broke over Santa's face. "Why bless you, my dear," he laughed, "I'm only a symbol myself. I represent the spirit of family fun and the joy of giving and receiving. If the children are taught these other things, there is no danger that I'll ever be forgotten."

"I think I'm beginning to understand."

"That's why I came," said Santa. "You're an adult. If you don't teach the children these things, then who will?"

                   

A Sacrament Meeting Talk on Sisterhood

Introduction

Sisterhood is partly knowing who you are/where you came from, and partly the fellowship and unity that comes as you help others discover these same truths for themselves. As daughters of God it’s a blessing that comes with being a part of Relief Society or Young Women. But a similar feeling of celestial siblinghood can be felt in ward families and neighborhoods too. Here in the church “Brother” or “Sister” is not just a respectful title you reserve for adults. It’s what you call some of your best friends.

Circle of Sisters, by David Dibble. © David Dibble.

In the manual Daughters of My Kingdom we find a beautiful explanation of Relief Society. I've substituted the words "the Gospel" for Relief Society: "[In the world there are] walls designed to restrict some people and exclude others. In contrast, [the Gospel builds] spiritual walls of refuge designed to protect and include." We can and should come together in Christ and invite others to join us. (See chapter 6.) In this spirit of fellowship I’d like to introduce who I am, where I came from, and how the gospel has taught me these truths.

My name is Danielle Hart and as a daughter of God I fully embrace that I am a creator. I love and live for beauty and truth through music, organization, cooking, and any other way I can think of to share my testimony. When I am not raising my 6 year old daughter or helping my husband, I can be found singing or studying Spanish in preparation for graduate school next year. As the oldest of 4 children, I spent most of my childhood growing up in the forested suburbs of Seattle, WA within driving distance of Puget Sound. In many ways CT is a sort of deja vu for me. I grew up the first part of my childhood in the Federal Way stake and by the time I was a teenager, my Dad had also become my bishop. Like me, he had been born in the church and grown up studying the gospel so he could know the truth of it for himself. He and my mom taught me to do the same, to search the scriptures for answers, and to love the Lord. 

When I was a sophomore in highschool my dad decided to apply for a job teaching religion at BYU-Idaho. Just a few months after I turned 16, my family moved to a beautiful little college town where--despite its unbelievably cold winters--we felt warmly welcomed!

It was there in Rexburg that I learned the strength of sisterhood as my 2 sisters and I took turns learning from each other’s examples. I also experienced sisterhood when our next-door neighbors invited us to Young Women activities. The best kind of sibling love happened when one daughter of God was befriended at school by a son of God who would one day become her husband! As a teenager I was taught to focus on becoming the kind of girl my Mr. Right would be attracted to; it must have worked because Gregory has always been the kind of young man I wanted to grow up and marry! We began dating about the time he took a mission preparation class from my dad. We were married in the Rexburg ID temple after Gregory returned from serving a full-time mission in Santa Rosa, CA. Shortly after having our daughter Victoria join our family, my little sister married his little brother! Gregory just finished his Ph. D. in Physics and is now working at Yale as a post doc in Therapeutic Radiation Oncology.

Examples in the Gospel

Recently, Sister Joy J. Jones (Primary General President) shared stories of several sisters in different countries who discovered their worth through divine doctrine. She taught us in the women’s session of conference that “truly knowing you are a daughter of God will guide you to service.” This is the essence of sisterhood: knowing you’re a child of God and acting on that testimony, which will help others to do the same. Because of God’s plan of salvation, we know that being sisters is an eternal role and it isn’t limited to blood relations. We can learn from, love, and serve anyone.

One of the previous General Relief Society presidents taught this about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her cousin, Elizabeth, who visit taught one another during their miraculous pregnancies:
   

Women the world over appreciate the closeness Mary and Elizabeth felt and the strength they 

each gained together.

This account allows us to see clearly that sisterhood may be both individual and shared. As the Savior would later say, “My mother and my brethren [and we may add sisters], are these which hear the word of God, and do it.” (Luke 8:21.) In that sense, Mary, as well as Elizabeth, enjoyed a sisterhood that had to do with personally qualifying through faithfulness to be counted among the followers of righteousness—the sons and daughters of God.

In the New Testament there are two famously different sisters, Mary and Martha, who learned from each other and can teach us much about being true disciples. Because they learned from each other’s strengths and weaknesses, they were both able to grow in their testimonies as a result.

Young Women General President, Bonnie L. Oscarson taught: To be sisters [and I would add brothers] implies that there is an unbreakable bond between us. [We] take care of each other, watch out for each other, comfort each other, and are there for each other through thick and thin. The Lord has said, “I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.”2

She continued:

       The adversary would have us be critical or judgmental of one another. He wants us to 

       concentrate on our differences and compare ourselves to one another. You may love to exercise 

       vigorously for an hour each day because it makes you feel so good, while I consider it to be a 

       major athletic event if I walk up one flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator. We can still be 

       friends, can’t we?

       [We can all laugh at this humorous example of differences, but some differences are truly 

       painful.] Sister Patricia T. Holland once said, “The point is, we simply cannot call ourselves 

       Christian and continue to judge one another—or ourselves—so harshly.”3 She goes on to say 

       that there is nothing that is worth us losing our compassion and sisterhood over. We just need to 

       relax and rejoice in our divine differences. We need to realize that we all desire to serve in the 

       kingdom, using our unique talents and gifts in our own ways. Then we can enjoy our sisterhood 

       and our associations and begin to serve.

The Good Samaritan

In sunbeams a few weeks ago we played ring-around-the-rosie to the Primary song, “Jesus said love everyone, treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you.” Jesus Christ often told stories to teach and answer questions. Someone once asked him, “Who is my neighbor?” In modern day English we would ask, “Who should I take care of, watch out for, and comfort?” According to the parable that follows, everyone! No pressure...

Another teaching of Christ that comes to mind when I think of this parable is the scripture, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” Two ways to learn deeply from this parable are 1) to find yourself in the characters and 2) to find Christ in the characters.

A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
Jesus asks, “Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?” [The one who saw a need and did nothing, the one who came and saw the need but wouldn’t or maybe even couldn’t adequately help, or the unexpected friend who made sacrifices?]

The main listener to this parable admitted that the true friend and neighbor was “he that showed mercy. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.”

This parable teaches us about our Father in Heaven’s plan of happiness. In early Christianity they taught that the man who fell among thieves was Adam. Remember, he left Jerusalem to travel to Jericho. (Pictured below: A stained glass window in Chatres, France shows the Fall of Adam and then the parable of the Good Samaritan.)

“Jerusalem is paradise, and Jericho is the world. The robbers are hostile powers. The priest is the Law [of Moses], the Levite is the prophets of old, and the Samaritan is Christ. The wounds are disobedience, the beast is the Lord’s body, the [inn], which accepts all who wish to enter, is the Church. … The manager of the [inn] is the head of the Church, to whom its care has been entrusted. And the fact that the Samaritan promises he will return represents the Savior’s second coming.”

The Ensign article where I found this quote continues: As a type and shadow of [God’s] plan, the good Samaritan places our deeds of neighborly kindness here in mortality within the eternal context of where we have come down from, how we have fallen into our present plight, and how the binding ordinances and healing love of the promised Redeemer and the nurture of His Church can rescue us from our present situation, as we serve and live worthy of reward at His Second Coming.

The Atonement Helps Us Love

Sometimes it is easy to love, serve, and be served. But what about when we feel that strange sort of pride that makes it hard to ask for help? What about when we don’t understand someone or they hurt us and we’re still supposed to feel charity?! How then can we enjoy the brotherhood and sisterhood of being united in Christ? Sister Neill F. Marriott shared her experience with these gospel truths:

One memorable night a relative and I disagreed about a political issue. She briskly and thoroughly took my comments apart, proving me wrong within earshot of family members. I felt foolish and uninformed—and I probably was. That night as I knelt to pray, I hurried to explain to Heavenly Father how difficult this relative was! I talked on and on. Perhaps I paused in my complaining and the Holy Ghost had a chance to get my attention, because, to my surprise, I next heard myself say, “You probably want me to love her.” Love her? I prayed on, saying something like, “How can I love her? I don’t think I even like her. My heart is hard; my feelings are hurt. I can’t do it.”

Then, surely with help from the Spirit, I had a new thought as I said, “But You love her, Heavenly Father. Would You give me a portion of Your love for her—so I can love her too?” My hard feelings softened, my heart started to change, and I began to see this person differently. I began to sense her real value that Heavenly Father saw. Isaiah writes, “The Lord bindeth up the breach of his people, and healeth the stroke of their wound.”10

Over time the gap between us sweetly closed. But even if she had not accepted my changed heart, I had learned that Heavenly Father will help us love even those we may think are unlovable, if we plead for His aid. The Savior’s Atonement is a conduit for the constant flow of charity from our Father in Heaven. We must choose to abide in this love in order to have charity for all.
Brothers and sisters, I have had similar experiences and I know it is true. It may be hard and celestial growing pains are painful, but truly, “perfect love casteth out all fear.”

Conclusion

Whether we have family close by or not, we all can and should feel united in the love and testimony of Jesus Christ. We have covenanted to do so: it is our blessing and our responsibility to love and support each other! Through the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ I know we can overcome anything. I know God wants us to be “knit together in unity and in love one towards another.” (Mosiah 18:21.) So many of you have been excellent covenant keepers by welcoming my family into this ward. We looking forward to loving and serving with each of you in the years ahead.

Bonus: See if you can find yourself in the story of the 3 very different sisters as told by President Ucthdorf. Doing so may help you increase the bonds of sisterhood in your life.

How to be a Great Gospel Teacher: Lessons Learned From My Father

Step one: Become a great gospel learner. 

Step two: recognize the difference between learning and teaching (hint: it's more subtle than you may think according to Elder Bednar.)

Two Things to Remember When Teaching Children About The Gospel
First, it's is the most important thing you can teach your child because it is part of keeping them alive! And second, children learn best by example. Even if you feel like you are going through the motions or doing things just for show, everyone involved will eventually learn to hear the music of the gospel if their "normal" is a constant view of its dance steps (bonus points for recognizing the General conference reference!) If you love going to the temple or General Conference and make those experiences a priority, you're well one your way. Everything can somehow relate to the gospel, so be on the look out for prime teaching moments; they happen more often than you realize!

That said, something important I've learned in dealing with toddlers young and old is to remember what Elder S. Mark Palmer so recently taught: "No teaching or learning will ever occur when done in frustration or anger, and hearts will not change where love is not present." Learning to recognize your child's frustrated signs and give them the tools to recognize and remove their frustration (a masking mixture of emotions) will help both of you learn and teach better. Giving them the tools they need may involve learning your own frustration triggers and finding ways to effectively mediate them. It's another life process that is learned by doing :)

So what are my secrets?
1. Family Home Evening. Have it and have it weekly. Always have a gospel lesson suited to the needs and attention spans of your family members and try to have it on a day other than the Sabbath. The lesson should be more than just scripture study. With really young-in-the-gospel audiences I've found it helpful to review or preview that week's Primary lesson. There are also several blogs I follow that given me great inspiration: Pinning with Purpose and We Talk of Christ to name a couple.

2. Twice-a-day Family Prayers. 

http://www.jeankeatonart.com/store/for-such-is-the-kingdom/family-prayer/

What better way to teach children about God and His gospel than to talk with Him? As we improve our own personal prayers and invite them to do the same, children may learn the nuances between food prayers, break the fast prayers, ordinance prayers, etc.

3. Daily family scripture study. I am a firm believer that children should hear the written word in its purest form as well as study the scriptures in a way that meets their own needs. to that end we study the scriptures two or three different ways each day: 1 page of the Book of Mormon at breakfast (or at dinner if some of us sleep in), telling of scripture stories in everyday language but with key doctrines underscored by quoted verses (this especially worked well for the first 3 years of bedtime), listening to Scripture Scouts (another bedtime routine and one that I grew up with), and reading through all of the illustrated Children's readers again and again.

All these things I have learned in my youth from parents who used well the gifts of the spirit as given to them. The Holy Ghost has taught me countless applications for the teachings of the prophets as taught to me by my parents. Happy Father's Day Dad!

"Trust in the Lord, and whatsoever things He say unto you: do it."

This blog post really spoke to me and said some of the same things I wanted to address in this post.

Lately the Lord has invited me to do some things that are unexpected, feel big. And frankly, I'm not even quite sure how to accomplish them. Do you know that feeling? Whether it is understanding our infertility, preparing for our second cross-country move, or applying for graduate school after a decade of not being a student, I've got a bundle of blessings on my plate that I cannot quite wrap my head around. I tried to phrase some of these concerns as questions or statements and then bring them to the Lord this past weekend. I got some deeply personal answers and would like to share a bit more with you in hopes of encouraging you on your journey of faith.

During Elder L. Whitney Clayton's talk I got up to go to the bathroom. When I returned, the first full sentence I caught upon reentering the chapel nearly stopped me in my tracks: it was an answer to every single one of my pondering questions/concerns! This bittersweet experience was made all the more memorable when my 5 year old noticed my briefly saddened face: 

"Mommy, why are you sad?" she asked.

Taking her in my lap I thanked God for this teaching moment before explaining, "I just got an answer to one of my pondering questions. I am happy because I have an answer and I know it is from God. But I am sad because it isn't the answer I wanted."

Whether you prepared for Conference far in advance or not, I invite you to ponder and learn with me today as we consider several scriptural accounts of obedience and apply key principles to our lives so our faith can grow and help us better endure as disciples of Christ.

First Scriptural Example: Mary, the Mother of Jesus

At the risk of overstating the obvious, Mary had faith.  I love trying to embrace in my own life such examples. Comment below with what other characters from history/ the scriptures have inspired you through their faithful obedience despite not knowing how to do what was asked of them. As I seek to mimic the faith of Mary and countless others, it has helped me to cling to the belief that "I [can] go and do what the Lord has commanded, for [like Nephi,] I know the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them, that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

Elder L. Whitney Clayton began by commenting on Mary's faith. "She committed herself without exactly understanding why He was asking that of her or how things would work out." This praise for Mary, the mother of Jesus, should be considered attainable praise for all disciples of Christ. Obviously none of us are being asked to give birth to and raise the Only Begotten Son, but each of us has eternal errands to perform. God has warned us that His ways are not our ways, so it follows that we often may not understand entirely what is being asked of us. This lack of understanding need not however, constitute a lack of obedience or trust on our part. 

So how do we conceive and maintain such faith? I love what the Bible Dictionary says on prayer:

         "Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into 

         correspondence with each other...[It] is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining 

         the highest of all blessings." 

Elder Clayton further taught, "When we decide to do whatsoever God sayeth unto us, we earnestly commit to align our everyday behavior with God's will. Such simple acts of faith as studying the scriptures daily, fasting regularly, and praying with real intent, deepen our well of spiritual capacity to meet the demands of mortality." I have felt the truth of this countless times in my life; this work is a constant part of growing my testimony as well as part of its foundation.

Exercise #1: Fill Your Soul With Faith

In what ways can we faithfully "fill up our own water pots to brim" so that "like water to wine, our lives [will be] transformed"?      

Elder Clayton suggested an answer to this question: "Those who are deliberate about doing the small and simple things--obeying in seemingly little ways--are blessed with strength and faith that go far beyond the acts of obedience themselves. It may seem hard to draw a connection between the basic, daily acts of obedience and the big, complicated problems we face, but they are related." 

Have you ever "committed [yourself] without exactly understanding why He was asking that of [you] or how things would work out"? What helped you endure the lack of answers as you waited upon the Lord? 

My deepened well of gracious strength has brought me peace throughout my life, including now; Elder Clayton bore similar testimony. Obviously these are personal questions but I'd love to have your feedback even if it isn't here in the comments below.

Second Scriptural Example of Faith: Naaman

Elder Clayton then told the story of Naaman, captain of the Syrian army and a leper, who was miraculously healed by the prophet Elisha. Now you probably don't have leprosy. But like me you may have notable challenges beyond your own ability to solve. Naaman's reaction to the prophetic counsel he received reminds me of when the Israelites had to chose to look up at the brass serpent their prophet held in order to be healed. This small act had significant consequences."Small acts of faith, even when they seem insignificant or entirely disconnected from the specific problems that vex us, bless us in all we do." Whatever one's current challenge may be, small and simple acts of faith are the closet thing we have to a one-size-fits-all solution. (see Exercise #1: fill your soul with faith.) I am so grateful to already be feeling this solution at work in my life as I ponder my plate of incomprehensible blessings.

Later on in his talk Elder Clayton taught,"[God] cautions us that we shouldn't expect easy answers or quick fixes from Heaven. Things work out when we stand firm in the trial of our faith, however hard that test may be to endure and however slow the answers may be in coming." A second lesson I treasure from pondering this familiar Old Testament tale is God's timing and how my willingness effects it. Sometimes I delay the effectiveness of a solution by not fully committing to promptings I don't fully understand. Sometimes I feel obediently committed in an instant and yet still find myself wanting answers. Instead of removing a trying experience, God may "solve" your problem by providing you with peace, insight, or empathy. I have definitely felt His promised strength in a myriad of ways. 

Shortest Verses in All of Scripture
Recently my brother wrote us from his mission in Arizona. Jonathan "found this little passage in 1 Thessalonians 5, which contains 4 of the shortest scriptures in all of the standard works.

16 Rejoice evermore.
17 Pray without ceasing.
19 Quench not the Spirit.
20 Despise not prophesyings.

It's interesting that all of those themes are still alive and well today in the counsel from our living prophets and apostles. So that's my invitation for you: find joy, regardless of your circumstances; pray always; don't do anything that would drive the Spirit away; and follow the prophet. That's a sure-fire recipe for success!"

End-of-the-Year Family Update 2016

5 second version: Greg is sick and will be busy this month. Danielle was busy last month but hasn't gotten physically sick yet. Victoria is learning to read and continues to enjoy school and play dates with friends. Despite the risk to our Christmas cheer, we all survived our second battle with head lice. There is much music and nerdiness in our home.

So Greg has spent the last few weekends drafting a family email to send today but he isn't feeling well. It's probably just a bad cold but he needs to rest as much as possible if he is going to keep up with his schedule this month: getting paid between semesters to do cultural consensus theory research (doing hierarchical Bayesian inference) for a Business professor, preparing for the GYSS conference in Singapore, coordinating our weekly den meetings this month, and beginning the semester late (taking his last class, TAing, as well as his doctoral thesis research.) We are grateful that he felt well enough to take the sacrament to our shut-in friends this afternoon. 

Victoria was sad to go back to school but has almost finished re-adjusting. Her love language is quality time so she especially enjoyed spending time together as a family at the end of December. She is doing well at reading but often still prefers to just be read too. Playing teachyourmonstertoread.com has really taken out the chore in teaching her letters and how to read. She recently asked me to go on a vacation to her school. I tried to tell her that going to school and going on a vacation are mutually exclusive. After some tears we finally came to the understanding that she was inviting me to be a field trip chaperone! She loves it when we can go places together. She did well in her ballet recital (she attached picture) but prefers the more relaxed dress code of her creative movements class, so she'll continue with that this semester.

On to Plan B? C? 

Our Christmas break took several unexpected turns, but once Victoria got over the initial disappointment (we both cried), she didn't seem to mind the change in plans. What am I talking about? Head lice my friends! It's back and we didn't miss it. May I never again forget another weekly lice check...I'm guessing it was from school but two of her church friends had it too so who knows. We caught it early on this time and spent Christmas Eve reading the Nativity story and singing Christmas carols while combing through all the children's hair (we were at a friends' house with another family so there were three little girls whose heads couldn't just be shaved, like Greg did to the 13 month old.) This meant foregoing Christmas day at Indianapolis with Becca and Spencer and a week with our Hansen cousins. Plus scrambling for groceries and meal plans, and back up family fun plans that meant Mom's quarantine requirements. Back up holiday plans included a trip to the Decatur Children's Museum and Urbana indoor aquatic center as well as potluck dinners like with our quarantined friends (quarantine doesn't have to equal solitary confinement.) We also learned how to make tamales. 

Music, Music, Music

Aside from my family and household duties, two things keep me busy these days: part time babysitting of a delightful almost-two-year-old and music! Peter enjoys dancing and singing with me as I practice. Thankfully, I have stayed fairly healthy this past month. On top of many solo opportunities I got to play and sing at a wedding reception. The annual Champaign stake Christmas concert went well despite not going entirely as planned.There was less variety and a few numbers fell through at the last minute, but the overall goals I set with the Stake Presidency were finally met this year. I've spent the last 4 Christmases fine tuning this tradition. I am glad to pass the baton on to someone else since we won't be in IL for Christmas 2017! 

Speaking of transitions, this semester I am hoping to take voice lessons in addition to continuing with the campus choir. This is in an effort to prepare for my audition into the Master's program in vocal performance (at Yale!) I'm both excited and terrified as I have received promptings from both sides of the veil to continue my education in this way. 

Career

Greg still has several ideas about what he wants to be and where he wants to go when he "grows up." For now we'll start that process by finishing his Ph. D. then going to Yale! They've got some wonderful benefits for working there (like free tuition for me!) and it will be nice to be closer to the Wildings and Fortneys but not too far from Becca and Spencer. We're planning to live just north of New Haven in the suburb of Hamden so Toria can be near the better schools and Greg's commute will still be reasonable. He did a phone interview with Google to evaluate his options in working there. He also did an interview with an HR person from Wizards of the Coast, and found he quite enjoyed their programming test. We've got many options open to us whenever we're done at Yale!

Gratitude

We are so grateful to see the hand of the Lord in our daily lives. We are especially grateful for his peace and comfort and the enabling power of the Atonement as we've recently been living out covenants to mourn with those that mourn, etc. We've had several friends and family members go in and out of the hospital recently and continue to pray for them. We are grateful for our own safety and good health.

Head Lice Rears Its Ugly Head

Congratulations, you've got lice! Said no one ever. Lice went around at our church starting last Christmas and it took into the summer months to get rid of it! My grown up Christmas wish this year is to not have an annual epidemic.

Reality Check #1

-Yes it is a blood sucking parasite on my child's head (or on your head: I'm sorry.)

-Yes, it feels gross and/or uncomfortable.

-Yes, it is an urgent inconvenience that you aren't allowed in most schools or Primary if you have it or have had it recently. (They're try to prevent spreading it around.)

Because of the lice life cycle, treatments are expected to take at least a month before you can be declared lice-free. But even if you have super lice (the kind resistant to over-the-counter drugs) YOU HAVE OPTIONS!

You've heard that the only sure things in life are death and taxes right? But with something like lice you'd like to KNOW you're lice-free and stay that way. And if you're like me at all, you don't want to wait a month while avoiding any unnecessary contact with anyone outside your own household.

But before you think seriously about shaving anyone's head (because we can't really light anyone's hair on fire, even if we want to), I'm going to send you on an inexpensive shopping trip and then one by one try to calm all your fears.

What you need to know, Part 1: Life cycle

Eggs take about a week to hatch and then another week to grow up enough (molt 3 times) to lay more eggs. If it looks like clear, unmoving dandruff, it's a nit. If it's a dark brown looking nit, it's actually a newly hatched nymph.

Source to know more: http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/lice/head/biology.html

What you need to know, Part 2: The Good News

1. They don't carry disease.
2. They can only crawl.
3. They cannot survive 24 hours away from their food source.
4. Even ones resistant to permethrin (the OTC stuff), will die from suffocation (the Cetaphil method.)
5. You can guarantee you don't have lice quickly and effectively using the Shepherd's Method for nit removal.
   Unlike mosquitoes etc. lice don't carry diseases so having them doesn't get you sick. If you had a bad case and did nothing to treat it you could get open sores from them biting and you scratching, which may invite infection from other sources.

No, they cannot jump or fly, only crawl. The only way you can get it is for my child's head (or something that has touched her head) to touch yours. Or for a parent and child to hug. I understand it's uncomfortable and a bit scary to deal with lice so I won't judge you if you choose not to have play dates or give hugs for a while. Just remember during this time to be extra kind to yourself and others. Even weird looks a whispered conversations can leave a lasting impression.

The bugs and their eggs cannot survived 24 hours away from their food source. In addition to starvation, lice die from old age, suffocation, and some chemicals sometimes. They also get killed with enough heat. They hate dry heat the most. The eggs don't like getting cold either so they die due to temperature and lack of food when they're not near the scalp.

Because lice don't survive well when away from a human scalp (due to death by starvation), it's harder and therefore a lot less likely for you to get reinfected simply because you didn't clean your house enough. And because lice can only crawl, that means it's hard for you to get lice from simple sitting where another lice victim sat. It doesn't hurt to throw all pillows and bedding in the dryer for 1 cycle. Stuffed animals that can't take the heat should be bagged for 3 weeks (this ensures that regardless of where they're at in they're life cycle, all lice will be dead.)

What is “the Cetaphil Treatment”?

For scientific backing and research go here: http://nuvoforheadlice.com/test/

For an explanation from one experienced mom (not me) to another: http://www.hiveandnest.com/2012/11/how-to-get-rid-of-lice.html

What is the Shepherd's Method?

Did you know there are such things as professional nit pickers? They're costly and you may have to drive a ways to find one, but these crazy saints are out there. My sister in law's best friend in NY is one and she warned that not all professionals are created equal. “If you go to one, make sure they use the Shepherd's method,” she warns. This method basically means combing through the entire head of hair just a few hairs at a time; when you're done you'll know you're lice-free because you have completely removed all signs of lice. Want to know more? Go to Dr. Shepherd's official website here: http://www.shepherdinstitute.com/new-page/

Got more questions still? Try this IL nitpickers' website: http://www.thenitpickers.com/faq.html#aboutlice8